Broken
by Tribal Shimmy
Summary: Alexander's plans to marry the Carian princess are discovered but it is Hephaistion who must pay the price for upsetting Philip's plans. This story is dedicated to Elpis of Hope who has pushed and encouraged to have this story told.
1. Chapter 1

Alexander already knew that his father had discovered his plans to marry the Carian princess, in so doing beating his brother to a bride and hopefully making a match to help them to gain a foothold in Persia.

The information had not come from his mother, who sent repeated letters from Dodona, where she lived in exile, even the fastest messenger took days to reach Pella.

His servant had told him, the man informed by a palace servant, who had heard the king's voice, shouting in his rooms, his baritone words carrying down the hallways.

As soon as he heard he went to his father, only to have his way blocked by Cleitus and his father's guard, Cleitus putting his hand upon his shoulder and advising him it might be for the best to wait until his father sent for him - unless he wanted exile once more.

He had withdrawn back to his rooms, sitting with Hephaistion, Ptolemy, Perdiccas and Seleucus, noting the absence of Philotas, the only other who had shared the secret, who now seemed not to care to spend his leisure with them.

It was a silent gathering, each man looking to Hephaistion who had been the only one to object to the proposal, laughed down at the time for being a jealous lover, but now seen as a better diplomat than the rest of them put together.

Hephaistion kept his own counsel, saying nothing in reproach, prepared to suffer any punishment with the rest.

"Exile wouldn't be so bad, at least the weather's warmer now," said Seleucus.

Ptolemy sighed and shook his head, looking sympathetically at Alexander. "He won't exile you, he needs an heir," he said, though his tone did not hold much conviction in it. Philip's wife Eurydice had given him a girl but was due to give birth once more and the seers had confirmed it would be a boy.

Alexander did not reply, he lay back upon the couch, resting his head on Hephaistion's lap, turning his dagger in his hand, apparently distracted by the ornate carvings on the hilt.

"Two days waiting," Perdiccas said, needlessly, "I think this waiting is punishment enough".

"He might still want you to marry the princess, he might think it was a better idea...than his own, he..." Seleucus faltered to a halt and rested his head back on a cushion.

"You are his only viable heir, there won't be any exile for you," Hephaistion said, "not this time. Though I think the rest of us would be wise to pack our bags, he will think we are a bad influence and want us out of Pella." Alexander clasped Hephaistion's wrist and Hephaistion smiled down at him. "I don't want to be parted either but I won't go far and I will find a way to get messages to you," he whispered.

Footsteps were heard along the hallway and all gathered in the room were on their feet by the time the door opened and Cleitus walked in, not able to hide a smile.

"Your father wants to see you, Alexander...and the rest of you. Follow me."

Cleitus turned away and led the way through the palace to the place where Philip held his war counsels; did most of his administration work. Scribes and officers normally filled the room when his father was there so it was strange to see it empty, except for his father...except for Philotas who stepped back as if he wished to hide himself.

"At least you know he can't be trusted," Ptolemy whispered to Alexander as they came before his father.

Cleitus stood at the door, his arms folded across his chest. He spoke to one of the guard who nodded his understanding of whatever order he had been given and hurried away.

Alexander knew better than to speak first, even now it was a waiting game. He looked to his right to see Hephaistion by his side, glad to see him there, knowing he could bear any punishment if they were together at the end.

"Educated by Aristotle," Philip said, spitting on the marble floor in his disgust. "An expensive education obviously makes you think you know better than me, that you should offer yourself in marriage to some practically worthless Carian princess who makes no difference to anything." He turned back to his desk, feigning interest in some maps upon it.

Philotas chewed his lip, tried to disguise how uncomfortable he was at having been found out, that everybody knew he had gone to the king and told him what was being planned.

Philip turned back to step before his son. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"That it was my idea alone," Alexander replied, "the rest should not be here because they tried to talk me out of it."

Philip laughed, a mocking laugh, not believing a word. "I know it all, Alexander, that all agreed to the plan, except for Hephaistion." Philip held his gaze upon his son, while everyone else looked to Philotas. "I think I should keep you close to me, Alexander. Then if you get any clever ideas perhaps you will consult me first."

"It was a mistake and I apologise for it."

"I should think you will," Philip shouted, "and you will apologise in front of the entire court when I have Thettalus brought here in chains."

The king turned away, returned to his desk, resting his hands on it, then pushed himself up and turned again, sighing deeply, pausing before he spoke. "I am exiling all of your companions, except for Hephaistion, they will leave Pella immediately, before the sun sets."

"Do not punish them for my mistake, it was my decision finally, Father, my error of judgement," Alexander said, stepping forward, aware of Hephaistion reaching for his arm, pulling him back. Hephaistion was wiser, knowing it was useless to try to argue against a decision once his father had made it.

As he calmed himself, as he looked to his companions, he saw Alkaios, an Athenian ambassador enter the room, walking with his head up towards Philip a satisfied smile upon his face.

Ptolemy, Seleucus and Perdiccas were dismissed, sent to the barracks to fetch their things, told not to return to the palace. Alexander and Hephaistion had only a moment for a brief farewell with them before they left the room. Philotas went with them but hurried the other way without saying a word.

Philip turned to the ambassador. "Well, what do you think, Alkaios? He is of noble stock." He was pointing at Hephaistion.

Alkaios smiled and nodded his head. "I would welcome the match because you recommend the boy, Philip."

"What are you doing," Alexander challenged, stepping forward once more.

Philip smiled. "I am arranging a marriage. You are not the only one who can, you know. A marriage between Hephaistion and Alkaios' youngest daughter, Pelagia." He turned back to his Athenian guest. "Will two days be enough for preparations? I know you plan to return to Athens soon."

Alexander turned to Hephaistion, who appeared to be stunned by the news, turning to look upon him, his face pale."

"We can have the marriage take place the day after tomorrow," Alkaios said, "the proaulia will take place tomorrow, Pelagia is aware she will be taking a husband and has already begun preparations for the wedding with her mother and older sister. I am anxious to get back to Athens, but Pelagia will stay with her new husband, you say the boy has duties in the army..."

Philip clapped his hands together, then embraced Alkaios before turning to Alexander.

"Hephaistion will marry, and you will end the relationship you have with him right now, you're almost twenty, both of you, it's time to put such things aside."

"Like you have?" Alexander snapped. "You cannot order Hephaistion to marry like this, he is no slave to be sold to the highest bidder..."

"I have every right," screamed Philip, stepping forward as if he might strike out, but Cleitus came between the two and pushed Alexander away. "And you will stand beside him as he marries, that's an order, then only go near him if you have a battle plan to discuss or when his bride is present."

"Make yourself scarce, Alexander," Cleitus warned, "you'll not stop anything, just learn to live with it".

"He cannot take Hephaistion from me," Alexander replied, aware Hephaistion was following, intending to come with him."

"Hephaistion stay here," Philip called.

Hephaistion's footsteps faltered and he turned back towards the king.

Cleitus pushed Alexander from the room, waiting until the guards closed the doors, then before Alexander could do anything he turned him so his back was against the wall, and clasped his head in his hands, making him focus on him. "He might have ordered an execution of all your companions just two days ago, I've never seen him so angry, so let down by you, Alexander. If Antipater had not spoken to him, calmed him, then you could be mourning right now."

"But to force Hephaistion to marry..."

Cleitus shook him, knocking his head back against the wall. "He might have been killed for this. Your father will come round, he always does eventually, but accept this, there is nothing you can do to change it. Give it time, you will get to see Hephaistion at a symposium, you can spend some time together then, and your father will not oppose it by that time, he would have forgotten his anger."

Alexander felt sick, he turned to look towards the closed doors wondering what was being said beyond them.

OOXXOO

Hephaistion felt numb as he turned to face his king and Alkaios, he forced himself to hold his head up high while wondering what Alexander was doing, half wishing he could follow his other companions in to exile.

"Your father is dead, Hephaistion. Having raised you here I have the right to arrange a marriage for you, and you have done well by it, I promise you that."

Wanting to argue but not sure if he could deny the king, only knowing what his heart desired, Hephaistion stayed quiet.

Philip looked uncomfortable and turned to Alkaios. "You should tell him of the dowry Pelagia brings with her."

Alkaios stepped forward, openly assessing Hephaistion now, smiling as if pleased with his purchase. "A house, Hephaistion. I have purchased a house, here in Pella, for you and Pelagia to live in, and I have provided two servants from my own household, Pelagia's former nurse, Aspasia, and her nephew, Phokas, who will be loyal to you now." He turned back to Philip and smiled. "Pelagia can be a little wilful, but she is pleasing to the eye, you will make a handsome couple."

Hephaistion took a breath then looked to the king. "I never thought to marry so young," he said, "I am not yet twenty. If Pelagia is so pleasing, then cannot another suitor be found? I am a metic as far as any Athenian is concerned, not worthy of marrying an Athenian girl."

As he spoke he saw Philip's face redden, he was only provoking an anger that would see him worse off if he protested further.

Alkaios stepped forward. "I am honoured that my daughter should have a Macedonian husband, Hephaistion, and she will live here, at Pella, with you."

With a look to his king, seeing the anger about to explode, Hephaistion bowed low. "Then, I will be happy to marry Pelagia and thank you for her dowry, for your kindness. I hope I make a worthy son-in-law," he said, trying to remain calm while he fought back his own frustration, straightening himself up, his mind screaming that Alexander was lost to him now.

Again the thought came to him that he should hurry to the barracks, pack his things and go but still Alexander would be no part of his life and by running he would never see him again, not even across a crowded banquet room.

He watched while Philip and Alkaios shook hands, smiling at each other, finalising details which he could not focus on. The doors opened and he took a deep breath of the cool air that rushed in, feeling numb as he followed the two men who had sealed his fate, seeing Alexander standing waiting for him.

Not caring, Hephaistion went to him and threw his arms around him in an embrace. "Oh, Alexander," he murmured, closing his eyes and wishing Alexander had never heard of the Carian princess.

Alexander said nothing but pulled him in to a tighter embrace before letting him go. Hephaistion opened his eyes to see Alexander looking over his shoulder, he turned to see Philip's disapproving glare.

"The guards will know not to let Hephaistion in to your rooms, Alexander," Philip said, his voice cold.

Not even an embrace would be tolerated.

"I've had your things taken from the barracks to your house, you might as well get settled in. Alkaios will take you there now, it will give you the chance to know each other." Philip nodded his head as a signal for them to go, then turned towards his son. "And you can come with me and start showing me your worth," he said.

OOXXOO

Ptolemy was just securing a bag to a pack horse as Hephaistion found him at the barracks, Seleucus appeared carrying his shield and helmet, calling back to Perdiccas.

"Where will you go?" Hephaistion asked, putting a hand up to stroke the horse's neck.

Ptolemy shrugged his shoulders and turned to smile at him. "Same as before, back home, though Perdiccas and Seleucus are heading to his uncle's house. My place is not so far from here and though we are exiled it is just from Pella, not the rest of Macedonia."

Seleucus asked Ptolemy where best to put his shield, while Perdiccas came over and put his arm around Hephaistion's shoulders. "It's not so bad, it's happened before, and this time you get to stay and comfort our wayward prince."

Hephaistion swallowed hard. "I am to marry in two days time."

Seleucus and Ptolemy stopped their bickering about the shield and Perdiccas' arm fell from his shoulder as he stepped in front of him, to gaze on him and see if he was joking or not."

Ptolemy opened his mouth to speak, but no words would come.

"Who? Why?"

"The second daughter of the Athenian ambassador, Alkaios. He has just shown me the house we will share, that is her dowry."

"Do you know the girl?" Perdiccas asked.

Hephaistion shook his head. "Alexander and I cannot be together, on the king's orders...not alone."

"So he's marrying you off to the first girl available," Ptolemy said, his anger rising. "Then come with us, Hephaistion, fetch your horse, your things and come with us right away."

"I thought of it," Hephaistion replied, forcing a smile, "I thought I would, especially just now when he showed me the house, when I stepped in to the small courtyard and turned to see the gates behind me, I felt as if I were stepping in to a trap..."

Perdiccas embraced him tightly.

"But if I went with you, Philip would send the guard after me. He has ordered me to marry and there is nothing I can do but stay and follow those orders."

"Where is Alexander now?" Ptolemy asked.

"With his father."

There was a silence, when Perdiccas broke his embrace, Seleucus stepped forward to take his place, then Ptolemy.

Ptolemy looked up at the sun sinking in the sky. "We have to go, Hephaistion, we were ordered to leave before the sun sets."

"We won't be there to drink at your wedding," Perdiccas said.

"You did nothing wrong and got the worst punishment," Seleucus added.

"Let's hope she's a pretty one," Ptolemy laughed, though the laughter did not quite reach his eyes.

They fetched their horses and Hephaistion passed the lead rope for the pack horse to Ptolemy.

"If things get too bad, Hephaistion, you know where to find us. If we have to run together, from Philip, then we will," said Ptolemy.

Hephaistion smiled, then waved them farewell and watched them ride from sight. He headed over to the barracks building, along the hallway to his room, opening the door and stepping inside, closing the door behind him. His things had gone but the bed was still there. He lay down upon it thinking of his friends riding away, of Alexander in the palace and wondered what the fates had in store for them.

OOXXOO

Alexander let the towel fall away from him as he left his bath, stopping on his balcony to note the clear blue sky of mid-morning before heading to his bedroom to take a fine chiton from a servant who handed it to him.

He wanted to look his best, he felt as if he had not seen Hephaistion in a lifetime, though it had only been two days. The reunion came with a price, for it was Hephaistion's wedding day.

His father would not be in attendance, sending Antipater there on his behalf instead but not before insisting Alexander did not need to be with Hephaistion to help him with his bath, but only to take him to the wedding feast and then to be there when he brought his new bride home.

Taking the golden sandals passed to him, he sat upon the bed to tie them, his mind recalling the times that Hephaistion had shared it with him. He swallowed back his anger against his father, telling himself for the thousandth time, that one day he too would have to marry, that they always planned to find a way to be together, even then, this was no different.

He fastened a matching golden belt, pushed a gold dagger in to it's sheath then tied a gold ribbon around his head. The servant bowed and remarked on how handsome he looked before Alexander made his way out of his rooms, through the palace and down to where a chariot waited for him, stepping in to it and telling the charioteer to go.

The man knew the way to Hephaistion's house, nobody had thought it wise to inform him where to find it, though Nikias, one of his guard had said that Hephaistion had been sleeping in his old room at the barracks and only going to the house when he needed something.

Alkaios lived in a large house near the palace, for his second daughter he had purchased a smaller house on the west of the city. The charioteer came to a halt outside a white house, whose gates stood open to reveal a small courtyard, with a carved stone trough and benches against the far wall.

Alexander stepped in to this courtyard and took a look around. Two storerooms were on the right, and just on from there were the kitchen and servants quarters. To his left was a covered walkway which led to the main reception room, the building framed the courtyard and a balcony ran around the top storey.

Not moving from the courtyard Alexander followed the rooms along. It was a small house, comfortable, not full of riches but simple in its style. At any other time he might be happy to spend time here, but this was where Hephaistion was to live with his new bride and so the house brought him nothing but pain to look at.

A woman shouted from the kitchen, then a male servant appeared, carrying a large jug. He was perhaps just slightly older, perhaps in his early twenties and with an arrogance about him, despite his station in life. Alexander noted the man's brown curled hair, trimmed beard and then the intelligent brown eyes which were studying him. He smiled to see it, suddenly amused, thinking the man would probably make a better soldier than a servant. The woman appeared, short and plump, wiping her hands on a cloth, before tidying her long grey hair and pushing the man forward, reminding him of his manners.

"Our master is in the main bedroom...getting dressed," the woman said, then slapped the man in the back. "Phokas, go and tell him he has a guest here," she ordered.

"Tell him, Alexander is here," Alexander corrected.

The man put down the jug, then crossed the courtyard, disappearing inside the house. Although not invited to follow, Alexander went in to the main reception area, looking around for the steps that would lead him to Hephaistion. He had just found them, had his foot on the bottom step as he saw Hephaistion appear at the top, the servant right behind him.

"Hephaistion," he breathed, taking in the braided chestnut hair, the desire in the blue eyes and then the red chiton that he wore, which brought him back to reality, which marked Hephaistion as the groom.

Hephaistion hurried down the steps and pulled Alexander in to an embrace. "I wondered when you would get here," he said, "it's the one good thing about the day."

He turned to the servant. "Phokas, would you fetch some wine, the best we have?"

With the servant gone, they were alone, and Alexander took Hephaistion's hand and pulled him to a corner of the main reception, where they were hidden from sight. Kissing his lips, desire building in him as he felt them returned with a matching passion.

"Is the groom about?"

Cleitus had arrived.

Other voices approached, Cleitus was not alone, men from the Vanguard came through, dressed in their finest, discovering Alexander and Hephaistion standing apart.

Phokas, the servant, came in with the wine and was quickly sent for more as the celebrations for the wedding began.

Hephaistion was pulled in to the centre of the room to listen to the usual wedding night jokes, to be given hints and tips about the time to come, libations made to the gods to bring a child to the new couple, libations made that the bride be beautiful, though one of their group said he had seen her and she was like a hog, best leave the veil on her when they returned to the house.

Alexander smiled but kept his distance, wishing he could pull Hephaistion free from the group he was in, announce the marriage would not take place and go with his lover back to the palace. Hephaistion had brought him happiness, he never thought that it would end and he cursed himself for his stupidity in offering himself in marriage. His father had been right, he had interfered, panicked that his brother might take the crown, and he deserved to be punished...but not like this.

Epaphras struck up a song, a bawdy song about the duties of a groom, after the first two lines others joined in, pulling Hephaistion to his feet. It was time to go, they were taking him to his wedding.

Hephaistion looked over at Alexander, as if it were the end of everything, before Sostrate wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him away.

Alexander took another drink of the strong wine, then put down his cup and followed the rest outside, pleased to see that they had left Hephaistion by the chariot and were making their way along the street now to the house of Alkaios, still singing, Cleitus leading the chorus now.

"There is no more time for us," Hephaistion said.

"Don't say that," replied Alexander, reaching for Hephaistion's hand, only to notice the charioteer turn so he released it.

Looking to the stone floor Hephaistion took a deep breath, then looked in to Alexander's eyes. "I would have been with you forever," he said, "I will never love anybody more...but I have to give this marriage a chance, Alexander, or what kind of man would I be? She is a young girl...Pelagia..."

Hephaistion hesitated, bit his lip and took another deep breath, as he always did when he wished to calm himself. "Pelagia had no choice in this either, and it would be unfair to bring her in to a marriage..."

"I understand," Alexander said, leaning forward to kiss Hephaistion's brow, knowing as he said it he was lying. A married man could do as he pleased so long as he got his wife pregnant, but it was Hephaistion's nature to be loyal and to have a sense of fairness which he would apply to Alkaios' daughter.

Hephaistion stepped in to the chariot and Alexander followed him. Nothing was said as they went along the streets, thought the citizens of Pella came out to cheer them on, following along until they came to where Alkaios and Antipater waited.

Alkaios looked pleased to have Antipater as his guest and it crossed Alexander's mind that the man did not realise how lucky he was to have Hephaisiton becoming a part of his family. He stepped down from the chariot and stood back as Hephaistion was greeted and led inside.

Food was cooking, the smell of roast meat carrying through the air. Alexander followed the crowd through to the dining area where men and women gathered, but seated on opposite sides of the room. Wine was being poured by servants as the new guests took their seats, Alexander sat beside Hephaistion, noting the plates of sesame seeds and honey, the bread upon the table, the bread upon a separate table, a knife beside it so it could be cut as part of the ritual.

A group of women came downstairs from the women's quarters and the room went silent as the bride entered, wearing a long red gown and a fine red veil, glancing anxiously up to get her first sight of Hephaistion. With the veil her face could not be seen but Alexander imagined that she smiled to see her groom. She, herself, had long black hair which fell in well groomed curls down to her waist, a slender form and perfect hands, her skin pale.

She was guided in to the middle of the room, to the table with the bread. Hephaistion stood up and Alexander followed him. Alkaios came forward as well, a slender woman by his side who smiled with pleasure at Hephaistion and caressed his face, telling her daughter that she had a handsome man to warm her bed. Alkaios introduced her as his wife, Theophania, then signalled for her to sit down, which she did after reaching for her daughter.

Alexander empathised with the woman, she was losing what she loved and he was too. He focussed on Hephaistion now, blocking out the spoken words, turning away as the knife was handed to Hephaistion, as Alkaios placed his daughter's hand over Hephaistion's, feeling as if the knife were cutting in to his heart and not the loaf of bread. He thought how cruel his father could be, when they had fought alongside each other, when he had saved his life, for no thanks, his father could still hurt him and seem to take delight in it.

A cheer went up, libations poured and songs struck up as Hephaistion returned to his seat with Alexander and Alkaios and his bride to her table with her mother. Hephaistion looked across at her but the veil remained in place, Pelagia seemed to have no appetite.

"She should have no trouble, with the gods willing, to give you a child, Hephaistion," Alkaios said, resting his right hand on Hephaistion's left shoulder, "her mother never did, right from the first she was with child."

He pointed out his firstborn son, then three more sons of various ages, the youngest probably eight years old, then he turned in his seat to name his three daughters, forgetting to name Pelagia but then laughing to say she now belonged to Hephaistion.

As Alkaios went on to talk about the house he had given, to brag of his generosity in the furnishings, that when he returned to Athens in twelve days time he would provide more, Alexander turned to see Hephaistion looking at him.

Alexander had never seen him look that way, he could not place it at first, then realised it was the look of a caged animal. He could say nothing without being heard to say it and Cleitus was seated close enough and not so drunk to miss his words. He stood up and lifted his wine cup, the room going silent as he was about to speak.

"Hephaistion is my closest friend," he began, "he always will be, no matter what the future brings." There were murmurs of approval, it did no harm to show that Hephaistion was the confidant of a prince. "Pelagia, you are blessed amongst women to have this man as your husband, I hope you come to love him the same...but," Alexander smiled at Hephaistion, "though I see him go to you, I will not lose my hunting companion and I have no desire to drink alone at symposiums I attend."

He bowed towards the bride, and there was a brief delay before the short speech was applauded, the guests not sure if he was giving Hephaistion up or threatening to keep him close.

"Well said," Alkaios responded, lifting his cup high.

Servants carried in the food, a true feast, where no expense seemed to have been spared. Wine flowed and libations were poured once more before professional singers entered to sing, though one or two of the guests had songs of their own they favoured.

The songs were meant as an encouragement to the two newly weds, encouraging them to produce children.

The afternoon became the evening soon enough, servants lit lamps and Alkaios took this as a signal to stand, encouraging Hephaistion to do the same as he fetched his daughter. He took his daughter's right hand with his left and raised his own right hand to silence the revellers.

Smiling at the silence he made the time old announcement that every father spoke to the groom. "I hand over this woman to you, for the ploughing of legitimate children." With this he placed Pelagia's hand in to Hephaistion's, then lifted her veil to reveal a girl of about seventeen years, who gazed up at her new husband and smiled shyly at him. She was beautiful to look upon.

"Pelagia, go with your husband," Alkaios said, then turned and pointed to a child, carrying a basket of bread, an amphithales, a child with both parents, who symbolised the child their union would bring, the boy wore a crown of thorns and nuts and gave out some of the bread to the guests nearest to him. Alkaios shushed the guests who were getting up from their couches to follow the bride and groom.

The small boy stepped forward, waiting his cue before speaking his well-rehearsed words. "I fled worse and found better," he declared, before turning and hurrying from the house, Alkaios urging Hephaistion and Pelagia to follow.

They only need to go to the waiting chariot, as was the tradition, Hephaistion took Pelagia's wrist, earning cheers from the men and women, it was symbolic, he spoke softly to her as he helped her in to the chariot. It was Alexander's part to step up behind the bride and groom and ride with them back to the house as Hephaistion brought his bride home.

The guests ran along the street, torches and music accompanying them, to ward off evil spirits.

As they reached Hephaistion's house a paian cry went up to celebrate the arrival of the bride, that she had left her parents home. Pelagia was surprised by it and moved closer to Hephaistion, saying something that Alexander could not hear. She would lie in his arms tonight and Alexander envied her for that alone.

As tradition dictated, Hephaistion lifted Pelagia down from the chariot and gave her a quince to eat, which Aspasia had brought to him, then her mother, Theophania, handed her a burning torch and she laughed as she leant down to burn the axle of the chariot, another symbol that she could not return home.

They entered the house and gifts of figs, nuts and dried dates were brought. The men of the Vanguard gathered around Hephaistion, wrestling with him, making crude jokes about his duty, offering tips on how to please his bride.

Alexander stood and watched, unable to bring himself to join in, swept along as they made the guests made their way, with the bride and groom to the bridal chamber.

Hephaistion's two servants were there already, bowing to their master and greeting Pelagia by name. Pelagia smiled at her former nurse, Aspasia, then turned to Phokas and said she hoped that all was well with their new home.

The bed stood ready, but some women thought to adorn it with rose petals. Hephaistion had his arm around the waist of his bride now and people were leaving them, Epaphras and Sostrate coming to Alexander and embracing him, leading him from the room, offering to attend him during the night, for it fell to Alexander to guard the room as tradition dictated.

Pelagia's sisters and some friends called out as the door to the bridal chamber was shut, then began to bang upon it to scare away the spirits of the underworld, before settling down at the top of the stairs to sing reassuring songs for Pelagia to hear, to encourage the couple in their attempts to produce a baby boy.

Alexander rested his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, wondering why he ever wanted to marry.

OOXXOO

Hephaistion watched as Pelagia stepped free from his embrace and walked over to the window, reaching to close the shutters before turning back to look around the room. She turned back to him and smiled, reaching down to untie her sandals, looking like Nike. He wondered if she felt the victory of being a bride, most women wanted marriage.

"Is this your first time here, at the house?" Hephaistion asked, looking back towards the door as another hand was struck against it, more words of encouragement.

"My sister," Pelagia said, then smiled at Hephaistion before pulling off her veil which had been draped around her shoulders and letting it fall on to the floor. There was a silence between them before she spoke again. "They say that Alexander is your lover. Did you not want a wife?"

"I will be a good husband to you, Pelagia," Hephaistion replied.

Pelagia nodded, then smiled at a song that echoed around the walls. "A son for me," she said, then looked to her husband. "You are very handsome."

"And you are beautiful," Hephaistion replied, thinking she had a look of Olympias.

"They want us to make a son," Pelagia whispered, stepping forward.

Hephaistion wanted to go to the door, to tell the guests to leave, to free Alexander from his duty, to have him go...when he only wanted him to stay. He was a married man now and things had changed between them, he had to accept they would never be the same. He took Pelagia's hand, despite her attempts to appear relaxed her hand was shaking. Or was it his own hand, he couldn't tell.

Pelagia reached up and caressed Hephaistion's face. "You have a kind face," she commented and reached to kiss his lips, as if in exploration, a brief kiss before she moved away a little, her fingers tracing the outline of his jaw, his neck, the contours of his chest. She looked up and smiled before claiming another kiss, almost teasing, gaining a reaction before she moved away.

"Who taught you this?" Hephaistion asked.

Pelagia's face flushed. "My mother told me," she whispered, "I heard of your love for a man...Alexander, which she said was only natural, but that a man could learn to love a woman though he might be hesitant at first. I asked what I should do."

Hephaistion looked in to Pelagia's eyes feeling unsure of her reply, he felt aroused by her touch, telling himself he could learn to love her, in time.

As if aware of his hesitance Pelagia unclipped her gown, letting it fall so that she stood naked before him, then she reached for his hand and placed it upon her soft breast.

"Do not disappoint me on our wedding night," she said, running her left hand along his chest, to caress and run behind his neck. She shivered, though the room was warm enough, and pressed her body close.

Hephaistion bent forward and claimed her lips, feeling his arousal grow as she responded to his kisses, releasing his right hand to embrace him, to unclip his chiton. Perhaps Pelagia's mother was right and he could come to love his bride and by denying Alexander he could keep him safe from his father's anger.

"Yes," Pelagia murmured, moving closer still, embracing him and stepping back towards the bed.

Hephaistion reached for his belt, untying it and letting it fall, then reached up for the clip that held the left side of his chiton, releasing it. Parting from Pelagia to undress and kick off his own sandals, watching as she laughed and lay back on the bed, almost wanton in her desire.

He lay over her, careful not to rest his weight upon her as she moved beneath him, almost urging him to complete the act of union, but she was an alien thing to him, with her strong perfume, soft breasts and perfect submission, he longed for a matching strength, a well-muscled body and an equal partner, all that he had ever known.

Placing his hand on Pelagia's waist he encouraged her to turn, needing to satiate his arousal but knowing he would lose it if he did not take her on her knees. Pelagia protested and tensed as he positioned himself against her then she quietened and rested on her forearms as he sank himself in to her and began to move.

It felt strange to be buried in a woman's sex and Pelagia's silence after her seduction was disturbing. She did not move back against him as if not wanting to be a part of the act itself, so Hephaistion closed his eyes and quickly brought himself to his completion by imagining Alexander was before him.

The requirement of the wedding night fulfilled, Hephaistion lay back on the bed, hoping it might only get better between them. Pelagia rose from the bed, wrapping herself in a blanket before going over to a bowl and jug which stood on a table, washing herself carefully and drying herself before returning to the bed and lying down upon it.

"I did not hurt you?" Hephaistion asked.

"No," came the reply, "it needed to be done".


	2. Chapter 2

Alexander sat at the top of the steps, listening to Pelagia's friends wake up and call to other guests still in the house. It was dawn and they wished to wake the bride and groom. A thin, blonde-haired girl stepped forward and began to sing, turning to grin at the other girls and the men from the Vanguard, who were well in to their cups and should have returned to the barracks long ago.

Alexander rested his head back against the wall, moving a little to get more comfortable, closing his eyes and thinking of the changes the marriage might make.

He had lain with women, sent to him by his mother, though only to appease her. Hephaistion understood why he had to do it, that the girls meant nothing to him, but this was different, this girl should mean something, as his wife, and she might break their friendship over time. He hesitated to admit it to himself, he feared nothing but losing Hephaistion.

The song was for Pelagia, to wake her and tell her she was a woman now, to rise up from her bed and take on her wifely duties, if not pleasuring her husband to get herself a child. The third verse was hardly begun before the door opened.

Alexander got to his feet to see Pelagia appear, dressed in a new gown, calling for Aspasia to help her with her hair. The nurse hurried forward and went in to the room with the girls following, laughing. Alexander could not help but smile as Hephaistion soon appeared, dressed in a plain chiton, looking over his shoulder as if in disbelief.

As Hephaistion turned to look on him Alexander could tell that he had performed his duties as a groom, it would have been the first time Hephaistion had lain with anybody else. Alexander stepped forward and embraced him, while the other men gathered around making jokes and crude suggestions as to what had happened during the night.

Downstairs a breakfast was being served. Hephaistion and Alexander led the way to find Phokas laying down a large plate of bread and meat, to see Cleitus asleep upon a dining couch, a youth wrapped around him.

"How was she then?" Sostrate asked.

"She's a pretty one," Epaphras said.

Hephaistion drank the cup of wine that Phokas poured for him.

"Tell us," pleaded Sostrate.

"Get a wife of your own and find out that way," replied Alexander, finding his comment received with laughter by the rest, enough to wake Cleitus, who pushed the youth off himself and struggled to his feet.

"Is there any wine?" Cleitus asked, calling the servant over. "How's the married man?" he asked seeing Hephaistion amongst the others.

Cleitus' answer came as the girls, including Pelagia, came down the stairs singing once again, this time a song that the bride's virginity had gone. They laughed and blushed as they pointed to Hephaistion, wishing him a son and commenting on his radiant wife.

Gifts were brought forward for the bride, a grill, a sieve and a pestle. Phokas brought a cup of milk for Pelagia, along with some bread and honey, which she drank and ate, while laughing with her female companions.

As the morning wore on the guests began to leave and Alexander found himself outside the house, alone with Hephaistion at last.

"It seems strange that I cannot call you to my rooms," Alexander said.

Hephaistion nodded but said nothing.

"We could go hunting in a couple of days, perhaps find a moment to be alone."

"Pelagia is innocent in this," Hephaistion said, shaking his head, "I've told myself that I can come to love her, though I don't know her. I should give her a chance, Alexander, she deserves as much as that."

Alexander felt his anger rise but he quickly overcame it, yet hearing Hephaistion's constant argument that Pelagia deserved a chance was grating on him. She did not know him, she did not love him. "So you can give me up?"

Hephaistion looked away, to some merchants walking along the street, before looking back at Alexander. "Your father will not tolerate us being together, if he should find out..."

"He won't, not if we are careful..."

"This is Pella, the place is rife with rumours and gossip, we have no place to be without someone reporting to your father, to gain favour by it," Hephaistion argued. He hesitated before he spoke again. "I always thought that nothing could make me give you up, Alexander, perhaps my arrogance in this belief tempted the fates but if I have to give you up to keep you safe then I will."

Alexander reached for Hephaistion's hand. "Don't say it," he whispered.

Hephaistion forced a smile. "I never intended to marry. Perhaps it is just the shock of finding myself with a bride, so soon, that I hadn't planned for." He sighed. "Alkaios leaves for Athens in two weeks time, until then there would be too great a risk to be seen with you, but even when he has gone it should just be to go hunting, or to meet in a symposium, Alexander. I cannot hurt Pelagia."

Alexander felt as if a knife had been struck in to his heart.

"I took her, Alexander. I feel that I should try to make this marriage work."

Alexander nodded and stepped back. "If you need me," he said.

Hephaistion smiled. "I know..."

Alexander turned and walked away.

OOXXOO

Hephaistion longed to run after Alexander, he took a few paces along the street to follow him. He had caused him pain when he had no intention to and thought that he should try again to explain his decision.

He wanted to be with Alexander above everything but it was not so simple now, not a choice they each could make when the king had voiced his disapproval, not from his own beliefs but to punish his son.

Cleitus came out of the house his arms around the youth he had been lying on the couch with, laughing as the boy flirted with him, ruffling his hair and pushing him away before walking over to where Hephaistion stood.

"You've no ideas about seeing Alexander have you?"

"Would you stop me?" Hephaistion asked, suddenly realising he might take the chance.

"Your wife is the daughter of an Athenian ambassador, Hephaistion. It would not be taken lightly if you were found disobeying the king's command to keep away from his son...and Alexander needs to learn he can't have everything his way." Cleitus looked over to the youth, who lingered on the street, waiting for him. "If you want the touch of a man there are plenty more to choose from, that goes for both you and Alexander." He called to the youth who came running over, happy to have Cleitus' arm wrapped around his waist. "We are back on the training ground in two days time, until then enjoy your bride," he said, before heading off towards the agora.

Hephaistion went back to the house, feeling that it was more of a prison than a home. Stepping in to the courtyard he saw Pelagia sitting with both Aspasia and Phokas, talking with them. She stood as he appeared and came to him.

"Did you not wish to go and spend some time with your friends?" she asked, softly.

"I thought I should be here with you," he replied, not knowing how to fill the time.

Pelagia took his hand and led him in to the main reception room. "I have a gift for you...well, it is from my father to his new son," she said, pulling back a cloth to reveal a copy of Euripedes play 'Iphelia at Augelia'. Hephaistion thought it apt as it was about sacrifice, he thanked her for it, then realised he had no gift for her."

"Have Phokas call a merchant to the house, any that you like, Pelagia, with silks or jewelery , anything that pleases you. Choose a gift that you would like."

Pelagia smiled with delight and turned to run to Aspasia telling her which merchant Phokas should go to. As Phokas left the house Pelagia ran after him and then returned to sit beside Aspasia once more.

Hephaistion ran his hand along the work by Euripedes, then picked it up and lay upon a couch to read it, passing time that way, though it grieved him to hear mention of Achilles as it made him think of Alexander and he wondered how he passed his time.

OOXXOO

Alexander had not expected to find Philotas waiting for him in his rooms. Tired from his vigil, angry at the fates, he was in no mood for Parmenion's son, who had no doubt come to offer his excuses and apologies.

"I would have liked to have gone...to Hephaistion's wedding," Philotas began.

"As you practically arranged it," snapped Alexander, calling for a servant to prepare a bath right after.

"Don't be angry with me, Alexander. You know that we have always been friends, but I was concerned, I asked my father what I should do. He said he would tell your father, that he would be able to word it properly, make it a joke to soothe the king..."

"And do you think it funny that my companions have been exiled and Hephaistion wed?" Alexander sighed. "I have no time for this..."

"But he would have found out at some time," Philotas argued, "he would have done the same no matter how he heard the news, you offered yourself, it was your decision, Alexander, whatever the outcome you began things."

"Thank you for waiting here to inform me of this, Philotas, but it is something I already knew. Now, be wise for once and leave me."

"I still wish to be your friend, Alexander."

"Because I have such a lack of them?" Alexander laughed bitterly. "You are a good soldier but a poor friend, Philotas. Go find someone else to spend your leisure with."

Philotas went to speak but Alexander raised his hand to stop him, then walked in to his bedroom, lying down upon his bed and thought of Hephaistion.

OOXXOO

Putting aside Euripedes, disturbed by laughter from the courtyard, Hephaistion stood up and went outside to see three merchants, all eager to sell their goods to Pelagia, who was holding up some silk against Aspasia, making her laugh, before turning to smile at Phokas who wore an engraved silver cuff.

"I said one merchant," Hephaistion said as he approached them.

Pelagia pouted. "But it makes me happy when I buy things, Hephaistion, my husband, and they are just trinkets, the cuff for Phokas, the silk for Aspasia and a necklace and fine sandals...and the blue silk for me."

"I thought one gift," said Hephaistion, trying to estimate the cost of Pelagia's greed and generosity.

"I do not need the silk," Aspasia said, not letting it go but running her hand along it.

"They have always been good to me, they have lost their old home too, I thought a gift would help but I did not realise that my new husband was so reluctant to part with his money."

The merchant with the silk had the decency to offer Hephaistion a sympathetic look. Pelagia began to cry, quietly, a tear ran down her cheek, and not wanting the marriage to get off to a poor start, and not knowing what else to do, Hephaistion agreed to the purchases and went to fetch some money, only to return to find Pelagia now laughing and set upon two rings and a hair comb as well.

"She's a pretty thing," Aspasia told him, "what are such things if they make her happy?"

The merchants took their leave and Pelagia went in to the kitchen with Aspasia, acting as the mistress of the house and organising what they should have for supper.

Phokas began to clear the breakfast things and put back the furniture to where it was usually located.

"Did you serve Alkaios long?" Hephaistion asked him.

"Long enough," came the laconic reply, Hephaistion had yet to receive a word of thanks for the cuff.

"Were you sorry to leave him? He will be going to Athens soon, I thought you might like to see the place again."

"Perhaps one day I will," Phokas replied and actually smiled at the thought. "Aspasia loves Pelagia," he added, "she has known her all her life, where I have only known her for a couple of years."

Hephaistion felt proud of himself for having coaxed a full sentence from the man. "Have you always been a servant?"

Phokas shook his head. "I was a merchant once but lost my fortune, my aunt obtained the position for me in Alkaios' house...and now here."

Another victory.

"Would you like a bath prepared?" Phokas asked.

"Later, in the evening," Hephaistion replied.

"You are restless here," Phokas said.

Hephaistion did not reply, instead he went to fetch his sword, then took a seat outside and began to sharpen it. He was still a soldier, that part of his life had not gone.

OOXXOO

Two days later Alexander brought Bucephalus out on to the training ground, riding over to where the vanguard were assembled and looking for Hephaistion, feeling it had been two years since he last saw him.

He found him in the centre of the group, calming his mare, while Epapharas and Sostrate joked with each other. As Hephaistion looked back up he caught sight of Alexander and smiled over at him, urging his horse forward to go alongside Bucephalus.

"Joy to you," Hephaistion said.

"Joy to you," Alexander replied, wanting to touch but stopping himself from doing so, instead he looked across the ground to where his father sat upon his battle horse, talking with Antipater, Attalus and Parmenion. The latter two were leaving for Persia on the next morning, at dawn and this was a final gathering of the entire army, a final chance to drill. Alexander smiled to think he might be a part of that invasion, that Hephaistion would be with him then, away from home and able to seek affection where he chose. There would be a delay though first, his sister would be married at Aegae before they could go and fight.

He turned back and smiled again. "We'll get a chance to spend some time together today, at least."

Hephaistion looked around at the rest of the vanguard. "Though not quite alone," he said and grinned.

"Are things alright," Alexander asked, thinking Hephaistion looked tired.

"I am happy enough, for the way things are," came the reply. Hephaistion could never help but be honest. "Though I am glad to be here," he said, returning the smile.

Alexander heard his father calling and knew it would just be for the days orders, instructions on what drills they needed to practice. He rode over, ignoring the dry wit of Attalus, thinking only that the man, who was a thorn in his side, would soon be gone yet Attalus laughed that Hephaistion was married and would have said more except for Parmenion telling him to be quiet, for which Alexander was grateful.

With an understanding of all that was required, Alexander rode back to the vanguard, calling out commands to his captains, seeing them followed and the cavalry begin to move, around behind the phalanx, splitting in two, equal parts taking the right and left flanks.

Hephaistion had come with him, rode alongside him now, as he always had. Alexander felt some relief that they could still be together this way and though Hephaistion seemed reserved at first, he came back to being more like himself as the day wore on.

By the time they headed back to the barracks they were relaxed again, having found a way to be together. It had only been a few days; a few days ago they could have headed back to the palace together, to his rooms and spent the night together if they chose to do so.

Now Hephaistion had a wife and a home to return to, but he seemed reluctant to leave the camaraderie of the barracks, dismounting and leading his horse over to the trough, joking with Epaphras.

Alexander jumped down from Bucephalus and went to join them.

"There's gambling tonight, if you want to come," Epaphras was saying.

"Not with the way the fates are playing with me," replied Hephaistion, patting his mares neck, then handing her to a groom who had come over for her.

"My father wants me to accompany him to Parmenion's house, for a farewell banquet," Alexander said, watching Bucephalus drink.

"To build bridges with Philotas?" asked Hephaistion.

"I think Philotas got the message the other day," Alexander replied, looking over to where Paemenion's son was sitting on his horse, talking to his father and the generals.

"He's a good soldier but..." Hephaistion said and smiled to see Alexander's reaction. "I know you," he whispered.

Alexander nodded, wanting to ask Hephaistion to spend some time with him...alone, if not spend the night. To let him touch once more, to defy his father and find a place to be.

"I hear Nicanor is home." Hephaistion moved to sit on the edge of the trough, close to where Alexander was standing.

"He'll go to Persia with Parmenion," Alexander replied, "I think Philotas will have to stay for Cleopatra's wedding and I'm glad he won't get to Persia before me."

Hephaistion nodded. "Parmenion has ambitious sons," he unstrapped his breastplate and pulled at his chiton, "I need a bath," he said.

Epaphras, who was still close by, heard this comment and moved quickly, grabbing Hephaistion by the waist and making as if he would dunk him in the trough. Hephaistion caught hold of Epaphras' arm to save himself from getting wet, laughing as he pushed back and wrestled Epaphras to the ground.

Alexander laughed to see Hephaistion fight back so ably, there was a beauty and a grace about his movements, the handsomeness of his form, well-formed muscles, well-defined, lightly tanned skin. He felt arousal and turned his attention to combing through Bucephalus' mane with his fingers, not daring to look further.

Epaphras fell with a thud to the floor but did not bother to get up and fight further. He held up his hands in submission, accepting Hephaistion's hand to help him up. He brushed the dust from his chiton. "Bathe here at the barracks, I have a fresh chiton you can borrow."

"I asked for a bath to be ready," Hephaistion said, "I would have put my servant to a lot of trouble for nothing if I bathe here".

"That's what servants are for," Epaphras said.

"What are they for?" Sostrate asked, coming over to join the conversation.

"To fetch and carry," replied Epaphras.

"I have a couple of girls to go and see. Do you want to come?" Sostrate asked his friend. "The one I don't want is not so ugly for an old man like you."

Epaphras went to fight with Sostrate but Sostrate ran off towards the baths.

"Would you like a drink of wine from the dining hall?" Hephaistion asked.

Alexander smiled and nodded then followed Hephaistion to find an empty table in the busy hall. A male slave hurried over to pour diluted wine into their cups.

"It's not the same as your rooms," Hephaistion said, as soon as they were alone, "but we are not alone and can talk here at least."

Alexander looked around, nobody seemed concerned by them being there. He looked in to his cup of wine, took a drink of it, then looked to Hephaistion. "If I could change this then I would," he said earnestly.

Hephaistion shook his head. "I don't see how you can, Alexander. This is the way your father sought to punish you, and innocent people are involved now. It's not that I can divorce Pelagia while her father is here...and so soon after, and if I waited until he left for Athens then that would leave the girl alone."

"You've thought about it then? Alexander asked, feeling hope rising.

Laughing softly, Hephaistion drank his wine, then hesitated before he spoke. "I'd be a liar to say I haven't, this was not my choice, Alexander, and though it has only been a few days it already feels like a lifetime." He looked at Alexander. "You are not alone in how you feel."

Alexander reached for Hephaistion's hand, only to have it withdrawn.

"And yet you deny me," Alexander whispered.

"For both our sakes," Hephaistion said.

Alexander remembered that Cleitus had told him Hephaistion might have been executed and pulled his own hand back, not wishing harm to the man he loved more than life. He thought of something else he could talk of.

"I had a letter from my mother this morning."

"Is she still scheming to return?"

"She is bitter about my uncle marrying Cleopatra, she knows my father can divorce her then..."

"And that would jeopardise your chances of taking the crown some day," Hephaistion said.

Alexander laughed. "You know her too well, you were always a subject of her scheming, she always wanted you out of the way."

"Then she would be pleased now."

"Or displeased that my father can achieve what she could not."

Laughter filled the room, from a group sitting in a corner, a man got up from the floor having fallen from his stool.

Alexander turned back to see Hephaistion studying him, his eyes held a sadness.

"I wanted to spend time with you, Alexander, but now you're here I do not know what we can talk of without reminding each other of our pain. I don't want to talk of married life, of what I know of it so far, and there is nothing else for me except the vanguard and you, at least, share that with me. I don't want to talk of barracks gossip, who has quarrelled with who, how the gambling went last night, who drank the most and who throws the best spear. I want you, Alexander, but as we were, not how we are, and this pains me too greatly to continue it, to pretend we are only friends when you are so much more to me."

Alexander was stunned by Hephaistion's words and only sat and watched while Hephaistion stood up and left the room without looking back once. He stood then and went to follow, wanting to catch up with him but with every hurried step he took he knew Hephaistion was right. They could never be just friends, that moment had passed long ago.

He fetched Bucephalus and rode back to the palace.

OOXXOO

Hephaistion made his way back to the house, determined not to pain himself with thoughts of Alexander any more, he had to put aside the past and deal with the present, with no hopes for the future.

As he walked in to the courtyard Phokas came out from the kitchen, carrying a jug of water and informed him that the bath had been ready for a while.

It did not matter, nothing seemed to matter. Hephaistion stripped off his clothes, then kicked off his cavalry boots and stepped in to the tepid water, sitting down, aware of Phokas watching him so he freed the man of any further duties that night.

He wiped at his face and sank down to wet his hair, wondering whether Pelagia was in her rooms with Aspasia, he had not thought to ask.

The day after the wedding she had retired early to her own bed, saying that she was tired, then she was not well last night. He supposed he could not blame her for avoiding him in bed, he had not been as attentive as he should have been, not so loving.

There was a comfort in her remoteness, better she be that way than fawning all over him, trying too hard to please.

His thoughts led him back to Alexander and so he closed his eyes and said a fervent prayer to Aphrodite to help him love Pelagia.

He sank under the water once his prayer was done, then stood and reached for a fibula, oiling his skin and cleansing himself. When he was done he dressed in a clean chiton and walked barefoot in to the main room, finding Phokas putting out a plain supper of bread and cheese.

Where is Pelagia?" he asked.

Phokas shrugged his shoulders. "With Aspasia I think...she ate earlier, I think she has retired to her rooms."

Go tell her I would like to see her," Hephaistion said, thinking he was sure he heard the servant sigh before he went about his task.

The bread was stale, the cheese was rancid. Hephaistion picked up his plate and made his way to the kitchen intent on finding something edible. He had not eaten all day and wanted something more substantial than bread and cheese.

He found an empty pot, which had contained a meat broth, now soaking in some water, the smell of it still lingered in the air. It appeared the servants were eating better than he was. An apple, sitting alone in a wooden bowl, was rotten on one side.

"Is there something wrong?"

It was Pelagia, standing in the doorway, looking at him as if had no cause to be in the kitchen. He realised he probably should not have been but he was hungry.

"Is there nothing to eat here but stale bread and rotten cheese?" he asked.

Pelagia stepped in to the kitchen, pointing at the empty pot.

There was a stew but I did not know when you would return and so we ate it."

"Has Aspasia not made bread? Did you not send Phokas out for more supplies?"

Pelagia pouted and ran her hand along the empty table.

Hephaistion sighed.

"Aspasia has been helping me to make a gown, one I thought might please you and we did go out for supplies, because Phokas needed to prepare your bath, and while we were out I saw a necklace...this necklace," Pelagia lifted her hand to her neck where a silver torque necklace now sat. "I did not have enough money for things to eat then, but I shall send Phokas in the morning, who will not be distracted by anything." Pelagia turned to him, looking at him appealingly. "Please do not be angry with me." Her eyes filled with tears.

"I have gone hungry before, but I do not have endless funds, Pelagia, I know that you like beautiful things but you cannot buy everything you see."

"You are angry with me," Pelagia said, accusingly.

"I am tired and hungry, Pelagia."

Pelagia thought for a moment and then smiled. "I could have Phokas go to my mother and have her send something to me, for your supper."

Hephaistion shook his head. "And they might think that you are failing your duty as a wife," he said softly. Thinking it might be something a husband would do, Hephaistion went to her and embraced her.

Oh," Pelagia replied, pouting once more.

"You will learn, as I will learn," he whispered, kissing her brow, then lifting up her chin so he could claim her lips."

Not here," Pelagia snapped and broke the embrace, leaving the kitchen and heading across the courtyard.

Hephaistion hurried after her and caught hold of her right wrist pulling her round, Pelagia squealed, though he did not hold her hard, but he let go of her.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked.

Anger flashed in Pelagia's eyes, her lips parted to speak but then she held her tongue and took a deep breath, looking to where Aspasia and Phokas had appeared on the stairs before looking back to Hephaistion. "I made you angry, you'll hate me for it," she said.

"I don't understand you," breathed Hephaistion.

"Then go be with Alexander," Pelagia screamed, before running towards her nurse, going past her and up the stairs.

Hephaistion watched Aspasia follow her charge, then Phokas as he went to the kitchen. He stood alone, his world had fallen apart.

"I can't be with him," he whispered to no-one.


	3. Chapter 3

The following day, the army gathered, in parade dress, to say farewell to the men led by Attalus and Parmenion.

Alexander was sitting astride Bucephalus, next to his father, watching the men march by as the paeon was sung.

Attalus rode over, simpering, as usual, to his father, bragging that he would bring glory in Persia and await his king before advancing further. He then called to Eurydice, who had, with other citizens of Pella, come to watch the army mobilise, wishing her a son.

Not able to bear the man's presence, Alexander looked over to the vanguard, standing in line on the other side of the training ground. He sought and found Hephaistion, looking straight ahead, somehow detached from his surroundings. Looking back to the crowds he then found Alkaios, standing with his family, Pelagia amongst them, talking intently with her mother. Then his eyes found their way back to Hephaistion before Parmenion's cavalry blocked him from view.

"It's finally happening," Philip called to those around him, watching Attalus go with his men. "If Cleopatra were not to be wed then I would have wanted to lead the way...still there are things to do first, in Persia."

Antipater answered him, commenting on information they had received from Persian spies.

Alexander looked to his father, wishing things were right between them. They were polite with each other but wary at the same time. Alexander resented his father's interference and that he punished him so hard for his mistakes.

He turned and watched the parade, then once the cavalry had gone by he looked again to Hephaistion, deciding he would go to him after it was done, if only for a few moments to make the day worthwhile.

After the parade, when all had marched away, Philip had Alexander ride with him, over to Cleitus, and wait while he talked and joked with the favoured general. Alexander saw the vanguard dismissed, watched as Hephaistion rode over to Alkaios and dismounted, seeing Alkaios embrace his new son. Hephaistion then went with them, looking to Pelagia who wrapped her arms around him for a moment, smiling up at him.

"Did you hear me, Alexander?"

Alexander turned to see his father had been talking to him.

"We'll be hunting tomorrow," Cleitus said.

OOXXOO

Hephaistion looked over at Pelagia, as if she were a mystical thing, something from the gods that he could not understand.

She had been quiet with him that morning, hardly speaking to him, let alone looking at him over breakfast, not there when he left for the stables but now, with her family around her, she laughed and smiled, held his hand, leaned close and talked of their marriage as if Aphrodite herself had sanctioned it.

When her sister had commented on how handsome he looked in armour, Pelagia had softly chided her, telling her to find herself her own husband, though she was sure she would find none so handsome.

Alkaios and Theophania were looking at each other as if they were the wisest parents, pleased to have made their daughter happy, or perhaps relieved to have her living somewhere else, the thought crossed Hephaistion's mind as he sat, in their home, at dinner.

At least there was food to eat, Pelagia had told Aspasia to make bread, very pointedly, and fresh today, not thinking of the invitation to her parent's house, that bread was not required, it would be stale again tomorrow when it was.

Pelagia's brothers asked him questions about the army, what it was like to be in a battle, if he had any scars and if he was scared to die, amongst others. He answered them, it passed the time and soon the day was gone and he was alone with Pelagia, walking her home.

She had gone quiet again.

Struggling to find a topic to talk on, to find some common ground, Hephaistion reached for his wife's hand, only to have it pulled away from him, Pelagia acting as though she needed to brush away a wayward curl from her face.

Hephaistion bit his lip. To say anything, to ask any questions, would no doubt bring a tirade or tears in the street and so he stayed silent too.

Nearing the house Phokas came in to sight, crouched down against a wall, talking with two men who did not have the look of fellow servants or even merchants, but of soldiers. They were not dressed so well as the men in Philip's army might have been, they did not appear to be Macedonian.

Phokas stood up as he saw his Master and Mistress approach, the two men muttered farewells and headed along another street as Phokas gave a bow.

"Who were they?" Hephaistion asked.

Phokas shrugged his shoulders. "I just met them, we got talking, that is all."

Hephaistion felt some annoyance. The man's attitude stank of arrogance and though he answered the question he had not bothered with any detail. Tired after the day, he decided to let the insolence go this time but noted that he might have to have words and if he did then Phokas would have no doubt of what his failings were, might even find himself on the streets with his two new friends.

"Phokas is allowed to spend his leisure as he wishes," Pelagia stated.

Turning to his wife, Hephaistion sighed. It appeared she had no qualms about a quarrel on the street and the last thing he wanted to do was fight with her, they were strangers still and an argument would not help matters.

"They were soldiers, " he replied, softly.

"So?" Pelagia snapped. "There are many soldiers in Pella, is Phokas not to talk to any of them?" She looked to her servant, who smiled on hearing her defend him.

"They were not from Pella, not from Macedonia," said Hephaistion, knowing at once that he had given Pelagia a weapon.

Open-mouthed, Pelagia took a breath as she prepared to attack. "I am not from Pella. Not from Macedonia. Neither are Phokas or Aspasia. Do you look down on us? Is that it? Will you dictate how we must live our lives because you are so arrogant? Is it a Macedonian bride you sought? In that case then divorce me," she railed, the final sentence almost a scream. She turned and hurried along the street, with Phokas going after her. "Divorce me!" she screamed again.

A man came to his door, watched the girl hurrying along the street, then gave a pitiful look to Hephaistion. Windows opened, women looking out to find the cause of the disturbance, there was laughter, some shouted advice.

Hephaistion took a step back, changing his direction. He headed through the agora, past the temple of Aphrodite, frowning on the goddess's statue, past the merchant's houses to the barracks. He nodded in reply to greetings given and made his way to his old room, entering it and closing the door. The mattress was folded on the bed, he unrolled it and lay down. Now he could breath again, here at the barracks not the prison of a house with the girl who wanted to be a bride but not a wife.

With no intention of returning that night, with no wish for company, Hephaistion closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

00XXOO

The next morning, Hephaistion woke to think the marriage had all been a dream. Lost for a moment, before he remembered why he had come to the barracks, feeling the pain of his enforced separation from Alexander, stronger than ever.

He left his room and headed to Nikias', knocking on the door to find the man had just finishing washing.

"Did you sleep well?" Nikias asked, laughing at the confusion his question caused. "You were seen going to your old room last night, there has been talk."

A servant came by, Hephaistion asked for water to be fetched so that he might wash himself too. He looked on Nikias, envying him his freedom.

"She's a pretty thing."

"But difficult to live with," Hephaistion replied.

Nikias laughed, reaching for a chiton to put on. "A lover's spat, that is all. You will have fun in the making up, no doubt."

Hephaistion nodded. The servant hurried back, Nikias sat upon the bed and cleaned his sword, watching while Hephaistion undressed and began to wash.

"Borrow my comb, it's there on the shelf."

Hephaistion washed his body, then dried himself. He then shaved his face and reached for the comb. Saying nothing, feeling if he spoke he would tell everything in the hope of gaining an answer to his problems. Only the king could give him what he wanted and it had only been a few days since his marriage, too soon for Philip's temper to have cooled.

"Here, let me have it back later," Nikias said, passing him a fresh chiton.

Hephaistion thanked him and put it on, leaving his own for the servant to have washed. "I better go home, breakfast might be waiting."

Nikias stood up. "What if it isn't? I have five sisters, older sisters, my father had to work hard for a son," he smiled. "I know how they simmer on things, how they would see you go hungry and take delight from it." He slapped Hephaistion on the shoulder. "Come. We'll go eat at the dining hall. Go home on a full stomach, Hephaistion, that is my advice."

Conceding to Nikias' logic, Hephaistion went over to the dining hall, meeting up with others on the way, until he found himself in the centre of a good-natured group, laughing with them, until things did not seem so bad.

OOXXOO

It was mid-morning by the time he headed for the stables to fetch his horse. He rode along the streets and in to the courtyard of his house, finding his wife, sitting with the servants.

He held out his hand to her. "Come."

Pelagia hurried to her feet, looking back to Aspasia and then Phokas as she came to him and took his hand.

Hephaistion lifted her up in front of him, holding her safe, then turned his horse and headed out in to the streets, towards the nearest gate that would take them away from the city. Pelagia called to some girls that she knew, waving to them, laughing at their obvious desire to be held in such a way, to have a husband who would treat them so.

"They all think you are handsome," Pelagia purred, "they all would want you."

Wanting to say that she had talked of divorce last night, Hephaistion bit his lip. "We will ride out to the river, I think you will like it there."

Pelagia pointed to the distant mountains. "Can we not go there instead?"

Laughing, Hephaistion pointed out that the mountains were two days ride away, but as they reached the city gate he turned his horse towards them. They could reach some hills soon enough which should satisfy her wishes.

He urged the mare forward, in to a slow canter, but Pelagia wanted more speed, so they galloped for a while, up to the hills, while Pelagai turned and held him tightly. He saw fear upon her face, realised the speed was frightening her and so he slowed the pace once more.

"Are you sure those mountains are so far?"

"I've hunted in them often enough."

Pelagia gave sigh, then looked to him and smiled. "Let me ride alone."

"The mare is strong, you might not hold her."

"I can ride, my father and brothers let me. You will see."

"I will see you fall."

"You don't believe I can do it." Pelagia pouted.

Hephaistion had hoped to mend things between them and now another argument was brewing. He reined in the mare and waited while Pelagia sat astride and took the reins, then he jumped down. She was no rider, his mare would know it and take advantage. He reached for the reins, intending on leading her.

"I want to do it on my own," Pelagia snapped.

Hephaistion let go of the reins and stepped back, watching as his new wife turned the mare too sharply, held her too tightly between her legs and almost lost her balance as the mare began to trot. Pelagia gripped harder, the mare bucked, then began to canter, ignoring Pelagia's cries which only caused more speed. Pelagia dropped the reins and clung to the mare's mane.

Giving a quick, sharp whistle, Hephaistion instantly slowed the pace of the mare, who turned to come towards him. Grateful that Alexander had once challenged him to train the mare as he had trained Bucephalus, that, at the time, he was annoyed that the mare would only learn to come to the whistle, he was glad for it now.

He hurried to his horse, took the reins and reached up for Pelagia, lifting her down to the ground.

"She is a wilful creature," Hephaistion said, thinking the phrase applied more to the woman in his arms.

"Then you should sell her."

"Or divorce her."

Pelagia studied him for a moment, looking into her husband's eyes as if to guess his thoughts. "I was angry with you," she whispered.

"Aspasia and Phokas are servants, not friends, Pelagia. You must remember that."

Pelagia opened her mouth to protest but then said nothing although her face flushed.

"Did you want to get married?

"Yes," came the reply, but she looked away, would not look in to his eyes.

"Sometimes you do not act that way," Hephaistion said, putting his hand under her chin, lifting her face so she had to look at him. "Sometimes you act as though you would prefer to be at your father's house, still playing with your toys."

"I am a woman," Pelagia protested.

"Then it is time to let go of the past," replied Hephaistion, wondering if he were saying it to himself or to his new bride.

"You love Alexander," whispered Pelagia, as if she truly could read his mind.

"We cannot be together. I have you now."

Pelagia frowned. "But you would be with him if you could. You lie with me and think of him. I know this."

Hephaistion pulled Pelagia close. From the hills, from where he stood, he could see the whole of Pella. Somewhere within the city walls was Alexander and he loved him with every fibre of his being, he would always love him, but he was not being fair to Pelagia, and he could see how all their problems came from her belief that he would never love her. He had to try to make things right, to finally accept the days with Alexander, the nights were in the past.

"I apologise, Pelagia," he said. "I did not want this marriage, it is true. I promise you this though, from this day on, I will try to make you happy, try to make love grow between us."

"You do not love me?" Pelagia almost seemed surprised.

Hephaistion laughed, then leaned forward and claimed a kiss from her lips, feeling Pelagia's arms wrap around him as she parted her lips to deepen the kiss.

"All the girls want you," she murmured as the kiss ended. She sought another. "They say they envied Alexander, but now they envy me."

Hephaistion let his hands caress her body, trying to familiarise himself with the soft contours, which still felt strange to him. Pelagia moaned and moved in to his touch. He broke the kiss, looking in to her eyes and seeing desire there, he had dropped the mare's reins at some point, he now took his wife's hand and led her up the hill, to a place where the city was out of sight, where tall rocks hid them from view and there was a small area, covered in grass that would suffice as a bed.

He lay Pelagia down and quickly undressed himself, before lying down next to her, taking her in his arms, telling himself that all was good, that he could live with this. Unclipping her gown he pulled the fabric away to bare her breasts, reaching for them, caressing them, while he kissed his wife, as she arched her back and moaned.

He undressed her, her hands guiding him, helping him, until she was naked before him, different this time in her desire, she touched him, caressed him, encouraged him.

Desire building in him, needing release, as Pelagia seemed to need it too, he pushed her legs apart and lay over her, positioning himself, while Pelagia writhed beneath him, urging him on, as if she could not get enough of him.

He entered her, as gently as he could when his need to feel her, to feel the tightness around him was almost too much. He thrust forward, taking pleasure from the act as Pelagia clung to him, moaning and whimpering, clawing at his back, encouraging him on. She cried out, losing herself, then clung to him, kissing his neck, as she urged him to come inside of her.

Crying out, Hephaistion reached his own release, waves of ecstasy crashing through his body before the thought that he was letting Alexander go brought him back to earth, before the realisation that everything he had just done had all just been an act, there had been nothing done in love. He swallowed back these thoughts and kissed Pelagia's lips, thanking her, caressing her and telling himself he would learn to love her, it would just take time. Perhaps their first child would bring love with it.

He withdrew and sat up, shocked by where his thoughts had taken him. A child. He had never thought of children before. A son he could call Alexander...a daughter... He looked at Pelagia, watching her dress and absently reached for his own clothes. A daughter might take after her mother, might be as wilful and spoilt as the woman he hoped to love.

Standing up he helped Pelagia to her feet, embracing her and thanking her once more, as he thought a husband should. He dressed and turned to see Pelagia standing high upon the rocks above him, too close to the edge, her gown blowing in the breeze, her tousled hair lifted around her.

"Be careful, not so close to the edge," he warned, climbing up to stand a little way behind her."

Pelagia turned and laughed. "What if I should fall? Do you think I might survive?" She looked down. "If the rocks were little higher then I would be killed. Would you mourn me, Hephaistion? Would you think of me at all?"

"Pelagia this is madness," Hephaistion said, stepping closer to her, close enough to think that he might save her if she fell.

"Women have no choices," Pelagia said. "Women have to obey what their father's, what their husband's would have them do. They have no choices." She smiled and turned to look over the edge. "But if they are clever...they might find a way to have all they desire." She laughed and stepped back, embracing Hephaistion as she came over to him. "I am a clever woman," she said and laughed, pushing away from him, running over to the mare.

Hephaision followed, confused by her. Wondering if all women were the same.

0000

Alexander finished the letter to his mother, sealing it before handing it to a servant to give to the messenger who would soon be leaving for Dodona.

In a way, he wished he could go to his mother, and talk to her in person. He felt isolated and alone within the palace, with no companions, no one to talk to, other than his father's men. The brief times he had seen Hephaistion, too many people had been with them to talk freely and he could only guess how things were for him, think over it all when he was alone.

On a couple of nights he had dined with Philotas, just to have the silence broken, just to take his thoughts away from where they led, but tonight there would be a banquet, a farewell feast as Alkaios was leaving in the morning. The Athenian ambassador would come to say his goodbyes and with him would come his sons, and his son-in-law, Hephaistion.

Noting the position of Apollo in the sky, Alexander stood up and went to the balcony. Late afternoon, time he should be making his way to his father's rooms, to accompany him to the banqueting hall.

He waited a moment, settling the turmoil inside his head, knowing he should act the loving son when his father had been too harsh. All that he had done forgotten for a single mistake.

Taking a deep breath, calming himself he turned and left his rooms, heading along the hallways to find his father, already well in to his cups, laughing with Cleitus and Antipater over some joke, some story he had heard.

His father sobered a little, seeing him arrive, straightened his long chiton and pulled his chlamys up on to his shoulders. With a grunt he lifted himself up off the couch he had been lying on and with only a nod to his son he led the way to the dining hall where guests were already gathered.

As his father settled himself, while Antipater took the couch next but one on Philip's right, Cleitus the one after, as servants rushed forward to serve more wine, Alexander looked around the room for Hephaistion. With no sign of him, Alexander took the couch on the left of his father, taking wine from a servant and drinking down a cup of it right away.

As the servant poured more wine, Alkaios arrived, hurrying in, aware that he was late, his sons behind him, Hephaistion behind them. While the ambassador apologised for his tardiness, while his sons stood dutifully behind their father, Hephaistion took some offered wine from a servant and came over to the couch next to Alexander and sat down, smiling at him.

Alexander returned the smile, wishing at the same time he could pull the man before him in to his arms and kiss his lips. Envious of Hephaistion's wine cup as Hephaistion drank, his lips soft against the rim of it.

"Alkaios was arguing with one of his sons...Andreas," Hephaistion said. "He has met a girl he wants to marry, while he has been here, but apparently a Macedonian girl is not good enough for their family."

Alexander looked over at Alkaois, watching him take the couch next to his father, then turned back to Hephaistion."Will you try to find some time alone with me tonight?"

Before Hephaistion could answer, Alkaios' sons came over, the love sick Andreas sitting down by Hephaistion's side, looking to the floor, unhappy with his lot.

Servants hurried in, carrying trays of food, musicians began to play and laughter and talk filled the hall.

Alexander patted the couch he was on, trying to get Hephaistion to come to his side, but he would not, so they could not talk unless they shouted over the noise and then all around could hear them. Alexander called for more wine, watching Hephaistion eat, while talking to Andreas, trying to lift his mood.

When all had eaten their fill, Philip stood and made a toast, as was customary, for Alkaios' health and prosperity, wishing him safe passage back to Athens. In turn Alkaios stood and made a speech, well-rehearsed and over-long, praising Macedonia, Philip's hospitality, the beautiful women, the educated men, before turning to politics, but Clietus reached over Antipater, snagging Alkaios' robe, pulling him back down to the couch. All laughed, Alkaios with them though he was clearly upset to have had his speech cut short.

As Alkaios had mentioned the beautiful women of Macedonia, Andreas had decided he had had enough and shot up from his couch, storming out of the room by the nearest exit. Hephaistion looked to Alexander, then hurried after him to try to bring him back.

Alexander waited a moment, then put down his wine cup and stood, walking slowly, talking to others, as if he was in no hurry, then reaching the exit he turned and ran along it, hoping to catch up with Hephaistion and be alone that way.

The gods were with him, definitely with him, as he turned a corner he saw Hephaistion on his way back, walking back to the dining hall alone.

Alexander stepped in to view, to see Hephaistion look around, obviously checking that the hallway was deserted. His footsteps faltered, it was the first time they had been alone since the wedding morning.

"We should not be like this," Hephaistion warned, holding up his hands as if intending to stop Alexander getting close.

Alexander broke the defences taking Hephaistion in his arms, and before he could protest he kissed his lips.

Like a drowning man being given water, Hephaistion reacted to the kiss, as if his life depended upon it.

Alexander grabbed Hephaistion's chiton, clutching it, pulling Hephaistion around then pushing him back against the wall, his hands exploring the body he knew so well

"No," Hephaistion murmured, but he held Alexander all the same, returning the kisses with equal passion.

Overwhelmed with desire, Alexander encouraged Hephaistion to turn his face to the wall intending to take him there and then only, somewhere along the hall, a door opened and then closed and Hephaistion pushed back and freed himself.

"We can't do this...be like this," Hephaistion said.

"You want me as much as I want you, I know it," Alexander argued, feeling his temper rise in his frustration. "Or do you not want me any more, Hephasition? You have a wife to satisfy you now, perhaps she gives you more than I ever did." He took a deep breath, softened his voice. "Hephaistion. Just a moment, that is all I ask." He looked around and saw alcove they could go to, he held out his hand.

"Not here. Not now. Not like this," whispered Hephaistion.

"Afraid to upset your father-in-law?" Alexander challenged.

"No, your father, Alexander. I won't see you throw away your future, see your dreams turn in to nothing. I share those dreams, remember? You mean more to me than anything, you always will, but now is not the time for us to be together."

"Perhaps you wanted it to end; perhaps you welcomed this marriage as a way of ridding yourself of me," Alexander snapped, knowing as he spoke the words that they were not true, not able to stop himself hurting the one person he had never wanted to hurt. The wine had made him unreasonable, he knew it but he could not stop himself.

Hephaistion looked as though he had been hit. "You know that is a lie," he said, stepping forward, intending to embrace his friend.

Alexander pushed him away, not understanding why he did so, wanting to stop himself, to pull Hephaistion in to his arms but not able to. The hurt ran deep within him, the jealousy of Pelagia being able to lie with this man every night, the anger with his father for ordering the marriage, the pain of separation, of Hephaistion refusing him when they were finally alone. "Go be with your family...with your wife," Alexander urged him, hoping Hephaistion would stay.

"You are not alone in this," Hephaistion said.

"I shall do well to find a new companion," spat Alexander, not able to stop himself.

Tears sprang forth in Hephaistion's eyes, he nodded his understanding, then turned away, but instead of heading back towards the hall he walked away in the opposite direction, beginning to run just before he disappeared from view.

Alexander stood a moment, feeling dead inside. He turned to go back to the dining hall as he did so he saw Cleitus watching him. He wondered just how much the man had heard, how long he had been there, then without a word he walked right by him and made his way back to the banquet.

0000

Alkaios and his family left the next morning. Hephaistion and Pelagia were there to say goodbye and Hephaistion held his young wife to him, comforting her as she cried.

It was the first time that he had held her, since the morning they had ridden out of Pella. She had avoided him ever since her return, making sure she was not alone with him, and telling Aspasia to tell him she was unwell, her head hurt, she was too tired or busy with running the house.

Hephaistion sighed. He had looked forward to the banquet last night, it had been a beacon in the darkness of his life, to see Alexander once more. He had resolved to go to him, to spend time with him. When they met out in the hallway, when they kissed, it was what he wanted, but one of them had to see the sense of it. As the door opened he had realised the risk and broken away but he had not expected Alexander to react just as he did.

"You'll see them again, Pelagia," he soothed.

Pelagia shook her head, crying as though her world had ended. Hephaistion put his arm around her waist and, holding her close, began to walk her home, perhaps Aspasia would know what to say to calm her, he wished the woman had come with them.

Reaching the house, Pelagia pulled away from him and took comfort from her nurse, who led her away to her rooms, though Pelagia's cries could be heard all around the courtyard.

Phokas took the opportunity to excuse himself and hurried out on to the street so Hephaistion headed to the kitchen and fetched a cup and poured some wine.

He lifted up the flask, intending to get drunk, thinking that would be the way to stop the memories of last night echoing through his mind. To block Alexander declaring he would find a new companion. He sat upon a couch and lifted the cup, a toast to Caria coming to mind. Laughing to himself he realised he could not drink the wine, that he had found a way to stop himself from easing his pain.

Alexander and the Carian princess, the idea of him marrying her. Hephaistion shook his head and threw the cup hard against the wall, watching the wine flow down it, red like blood, to touch the remnants of the cup.


	4. Chapter 4

Two weeks passed and Hephaistion did not see Alexander, except for on the training ground, where Alexander was polite if distant with him.

Hephaistion longed to have the opportunity to make things right between them, to try to make Alexander see that his feelings had not changed, to see why things had to be this way, at least for now. Yet how could he heal the rift between them when there was never a chance to be alone, they never had the chance to talk, someone was always close by. Then what would he say? What could he say? To admit that he was miserable with Pelagia would get them nowhere, they were still in Pella where gossip was rife, with people in the court eager to fawn to Philip, to bring him any information where they could win favour.

Alexander did not realise that he spent his nights alone, Pelagia would go to her rooms and sit with Aspasia and sew, laughing at something the old nurse said. Her laughter carried through the house and Hephaistion often imagined it was the fates that were laughing at him, he had been taught a lesson Aristotle had not thought of, that you can not always have what you wish for, that you should not always assume that things will stay the same.

As for his marriage, he felt that he had tried, he had been the only one to try. One night he had dismissed the nurse so that he could sit by Pelagia's side to attempt to talk to her, but they had only quarrelled. She said she missed her family, that marriage to him had meant their loss.

Despite Alexander's remoteness, Hephaistion looked forward to being close to him, perhaps one day he would know the truth and then perhaps they would find time to be together once more. This had become Hephaistion's prayer.

0000

After a morning's exercise on the training ground where his mare had gone badly lame, and time spent at the gymnasium with Nikias where he had managed to beat him at wrestling, Hephaistion returned to the house to find Aspasia and Phokas sitting in the courtyard, almost as if they were waiting for him. Phokas nudged his aunt and she got to her feet and came over to him, she seemed agitated and looked back to her nephew. Hephaistion thought Pelagia might have argued with her nurse, it had happened a couple of times before, his wife appeared to love the drama of a quarrel.

"Where is Pelagia?"

"She is resting," Aspasia replied, still looking as if she had more to say.

Hephaistion decided not to ask, he simply nodded his understanding. "Fetch me some broth if you still have some, bread if you have that too and some wine," he said. He looked to Phokas. "I wish to bathe, let me know when the bath is ready."

Aspasia had not moved, she looked back to Phokas once more, then back to him.

"Master, there is something you should know. Pelagia...she is with child."

Hephaistion felt as though the breath had been knocked from his body. He was going to be a father, he had not thought it would happen so soon, if ever. He could not help but think this sealed the marriage, this tied him to her. For a moment he thought of Philip and Olympias, of their battles over Alexander. They would be like that. "You must be mistaken," he breathed.

Aspasia shook her head. "Her mother was the same, the girls are fertile, touch them once and they will give you a child." She smiled at him, she was judging his reaction, she clasped her hands together and then frowned. "These early stages, she is best not to get upset, best you give her what she needs," she advised.

"I will," Hephaistion replied, feeling dazed by the news, not sure of his emotions. He stepped away from the woman and made his way to Pelagia's rooms. He tried to imagine himself with a child and smiled to think that he might have a son, thinking of how he could raise him to be a soldier. A daughter he could love as well, though the likes of Ptolemy had better keep away. Pelagia could not object to him spending time with his own child. His footsteps faltered as he thought of Pelagia's resemblance to Olympias, of her wilfulness and moods, he wondered if Philip had ever felt as he did now, if the king had any idea how harsh this punishment would be.

He knocked on Pelagia's door then opened it, waking her.

"I'm sorry to disturb you," he said, entering the room and walking over to sit upon the bed. "Aspasia just told me...about the baby."

Pelagia moaned softly at being woken, she wiped her eyes and turned towards him, her gown wrapping tight around her waist, there was no sign of a child. Not yet.

"That is why I have been unwell," she said, tearfully. "If I had known...I want my mother here, Hephaistion." She wiped the sleep from her eyes again and sat up a moment before resting her head on a pillow and looking at him.

Hephaistion thought that she looked pale, he reached for her hand, surprised when she let him take it. "Aspasia is here for you, Pelagia. I am here." He fought to find something else to say that would comfort her. "You must rest, if you are unwell."

"I want to go to my mother," Pelagia said, her eyes looking in to his. "I want to go home to Athens."

This demand was too much. Hephaistion shook his head. "Your home is here, Pelagia. It's a foolish idea. We can write and tell your mother and father, perhaps your mother would come here."

"But I want to go to Athens," Pelagia whined, her lips pouting, her eyes filling with tears. "With you, my husband."

Hephaistion sighed, remembering Aspasia said Pelagia was not to get upset and she looked far from calm. "I have no time to take you there, you can not travel alone, not like this. In a few weeks there is the wedding at Aegae, Cleopatra's wedding, then I expect to go to Persia." He took a moment, feeling Pelagia tighten the grip on his hand. The baby might be born while he was away fighting, he wondered when he would see the child.

Pelagia sat up and put her arm around his waist, kissing his shoulder. "I am sure you are not needed at the wedding, it would not take so long. I need you to come with me, to see me safely home at least. If you are away then I would do better with my mother near, when you return, then my father can accompany me back to Pella."

"You have thought it all through," Hephaistion said, laughing softly, brushing back a wayward curl from her forehead. If he had found out anything during his short marriage it was that his wife could not be reasoned with once she had an idea in her head.

"Or I could go alone. Perhaps you will be glad for that....to be rid of me...to have travel unprotected, then for me to stay in Athens."

Placing his hand on her stomach, Hephaistion considered a child of his growing up in Athens, that he would have a child who did not know him. He wondered if she would come back or keep finding excuses to stay.

"You are not needed so badly," Pelagia argued, "I think the wedding will go well enough without you, and if you do not go to Aegae then there will be time enough to come to Athens with me and return." She held him close then placed her hand over his own. "It would mean a lot, I would not worry, I would be better."

Hephaistion sighed. He had a duty to his wife, to his family. "I will have to see the King, I will go to him in the morning and ask for leave."

Pelagia laughed and clapped her hands, then got up from the bed, kissing Hephaistion's brow before she ran to tell Aspasia that they were going home.

00XX00

Alexander had just finished eating breakfast, with his father and Philotas when it was announced that Hephaistion had asked permission to see the King.

His father had agreed, nodding his head as his mouth was full of bread. He picked up his cup of wine and took a gulp of it going back to his conversation, they were planning on going hunting.

Alexander felt uncomfortable but had no excuse to go. He watched as the doors opened and Hephaistion walked in to the room, dressed in his finest, his hair braided back. He looked like Adonis come to life, he always had, and Alexander regretted the gulf between them, all his own doing and he resolved to make it right as soon Hephaistion's business with his father was done.

His father turned to look on Hephaistion, then pushed himself up, limping over to his visitor.

Hephaistion bowed to the King and wished him joy, then looked over to the table and wished the same, looking at Philotas, sitting so comfortably, at his ease, as if all differences were forgotten.

"Well?" Philip snapped. "You wanted to see me?"

Hephaistion looked to Alexander then to the King. "I have come to ask permission for leave, Sire. Only for a few weeks, to take my wife to Athens and see her settled with her family there."

"Not granted," Philip huffed. "If you have problems in your marriage then you work it out but you do not let your wife run for home whenever there is a quarrel."

Alexander lifted his cup to his lips, to stop himself from pointing out his mother was in Epirus.

Hephaistion took a deep breath, again he looked at Alexander before looking to the King. He hesitated before he spoke. "My wife is with child, Sire. I think it best that she goes to stay with her family, I might be in Persia for a long time and it will help to know she and the child are well-cared for."

Philip laughed and slapped Hephaistion on the back. "Now the trouble starts," he laughed again. "Your wife has been begging to go home?" Philip shook his head, then considered his options. "You have to rule the house, Hephaistion, but her father is an influential man, it might do well if you take her back."

Again, Hephaistion looked to Alexander, opening his mouth as if to say something, then closing it as he looked on Philotas.

Alexander could not say how he felt, his emotions were in turmoil. He wanted to wish Hephaistion a son but again the jealousy overwhelmed him as he imagined this man he loved lying close to his wife each night, and he remembered when Hephaistion had promised to love him for eternity. He fought the feelings, better to have a valued friend than nothing at all. He went to say congratulations, to smile and wish him well but the words he planned to say were not the ones to come out of his mouth. "Let him go, Father."

Philip turned his one eye on to his son. "A few weeks ago you would have been arguing that he should stay."

"What is one more soldier in battle?" Philotas asked. "He does not need to come to Persia, there will be good men left behind in Macedon either way."

Thinking for a moment, Philip looked to Philotas and nodded, then turned to Hephaistion. "You should have time enough to get to Athens and watch your wife's belly grow then get back here in time for us to leave. If you need more time then you will be sent to one of the garrisons on your return. Permission granted."

Hephaistion bowed and gave his thanks then looked over at Alexander.

"I found you a good wife, Hephaistion," Philip laughed. "I hear the Carian princess is not so pretty and it is rumoured the family have trouble breeding." He looked at Alexander as he spoke the last, then sat down and held his cup up for a servant to fill.

Philotas laughed at the joke. Alexander looked at Hephaistion and thought again how his mistake had cost him dearly. Yet, Hephaistion seemed to have made the best of it and settled down to married life.

Alexander felt Philotas put his arm around his shoulders and pull him close, just at the moment Hephaistion turned to leave. He brushed Philotas away and watched the love of his life walk out, walk away from him, feeling as though his heart was being cut out of his body.

0000

Alexander found he could not excuse himself from the day's hunting. They went further than they thought they would, tracking down a lion and so they did not return until late afternoon of the second day.

Not even thinking to leave Bucephalus at the stables, Alexander went straight to Hephaistion's house, determined to make things right before he left, to beg him not to accept a garrison posting but to be with him in Persia, just like they had always talked about as boys.

The gates were closed. Alexander leaned down and tried them but they were locked.

"They have gone, Sire," an old man said. "They left this morning for Thermia."

Alexander nodded.

"His wife seemed to want to leave as soon as they could. She's a feisty one that one ,I can't see that he would be happy with her."

Looking to the man for the first time, Alexander noted he was a merchant. "Why do you say that?"

The man pointed to a house across the street. "I live there. I hear enough...and see enough. Like this morning, he wasn't happy that his wife had hired two more men to travel with them, more soldiers than servants if you ask me. She started to cry saying she would not feel safe without them, then the nurse has a go at him saying he was making her Mistress unwell. She dresses like a queen, his wife does, I have friends who say she is their best customer for what she has in finery. No. If they can not be happy in the early days of marriage then they can not be happy at all."

A woman called from inside the merchant's house. He gave a low bow and signalled he best be gone.

Alexander looked up to the house and wondered just what had gone on inside its walls.


	5. Chapter 5

Nikias flexed his shoulders as he arrived back to the barracks after spending most of the morning at the gymnasium. His body was tired, first from the wrestling and then from a foolhardy foot race with Alexander and two others, where he had only learned how to smile in defeat, telling himself a prince ought to run the fastest. Anyway, Alexander had needed cheering up as it had been eight days since Hephaistion left for Athens and four days since Thettalus was brought back to Pella in chains. Nikias had heard about Alexander's humiliation before the court, today he was not himself but Nikias judged that Thettalus was the least of his concerns.

After cleaning himself of sweat at the baths he made his excuses and left, he had the afternoon free before guard duty that night and thought that he might sleep but the sun was shining and he was loathe to shut himself away in a darkened room.

He fetched a cup of wine from his room, welcoming the taste in his dry mouth. Lifting up a wooden stool he moved it to the edge of the barracks building, where the tiled porch gave some shade. He put the stool down and sat on it, resting his back and head against the wall, savouring the wine and watching people come and go.

His attention was drawn to a young boy, perhaps just fourteen years of age, who had stopped one of the servants to talk to them. He guessed the boy intended to enlist, many boys arrived to do just that, often second sons, or third sons.

Nikias took another sip of wine wondering why the servant would not just direct him where to go, who to speak to. Whatever the conversation the servant shook his head and moved away from the boy.

Two riders came by, arguing about a bet, their horses were sweating from the heat, heading back to the stables without guidance. A shout went up from the kitchens and a dog ran out with some meat in its mouth, ducking out of sight as one of the cooks appeared, the man looked around before giving up the idea of retrieving what was lost.

Closing his eyes, Nikias thought he ought to just finish his wine and rest. His duty would not last the entire night but he was tired now.

"Excuse me."

Nikias opened his eyes to see the boy standing before him. "Are you here to enlist?" he asked.

The boy shook his head. "I thought I had an easy task but I have been here since early morning and it is more difficult than I thought."

Sighing, Nikias squinted to look more closely at the boy, who had tousled brown hair, brown eyes, a freckled face and the gangly look of a boy still needing to mature. His clothes were not those of a wealthy man's son and he held a blanket and canvas bag with a few possessions in it. He would make a fine soldier, in time but the boy spoke in riddles which would annoy him at the best of times. "What task is this?"

The boy opened his hand and revealed a simple wooden pendant. "I found a man, wearing this...naked except for it, my father thinks he was a soldier...is a soldier, he said perhaps the cavalry." Nikias put down his cup of wine and struggled to his feet, reaching out and lifting up the pendant by it's leather thong. He had seen another like it, just like it, but worn by Alexander. "What does this man look like?"

"Long dark hair, blue eyes...he has blue eyes."

The boy hurried to follow as Nikias strode out of the barracks, studying the pendant. "Where did you find the man? How come you have this?"

"I found him on the beach...I go each morning to see what the tide has brought in. Do you know the man? He was on the beach but he had fallen from the cliff...father thinks that he will die, he sent me here in case he had family."

Coming to a halt Nikias turned to the boy. "From a cliff?" he asked. "How badly injured?"

The boy blustered. "Badly, Sire, his left shoulder was broken, my father's friend set it, we think he was a soldier too..."

Nikias strode out again the boy running to follow.

"He was cut and bruised...there had been a storm and it had rained during the night, so he was cold, he caught a fever and we think that he might die. Where are we going?"

Arriving at the gymnasium Nikias looked for Alexander but he had gone. He called to Epaphras and Sostrate who were just leaving the baths, holding out the pendant and quickly telling them what the boy had said.

Sostrate took the pendant, turning it in his hand, acknowledging that it looked familiar but it could have been worn by anyone as there was no value in it.

"Where did you find him? Where do you come from," Epaphras asked.

"Just a short distance from the port of Thermia," the boy replied, following the others as they ran through the city streets now. "Who is he? Who have we found?" he demanded as they went up steps towards the palace.

"Where is Alexander? Have you seen him?" Nikias asked the guard.

"He went towards his rooms," came the reply.

The boy hesitated, unsure about entering so grand a place, but his rough chiton was grabbed hold of and he was pulled in to it, stumbling over himself as he took in the grandeur of it, the paintings on the wall, the marble flooring, the mosaics.

Through a maze of hallways they went only to find the rooms empty, the guard there saying that Alexander had not been that way.

Nikias hesitated, looking down at the pendant in his hand as if it could provide the answer.

"Should we try the king?" Sostrate asked.

"He could be as hard to locate in this place," Nikias replied.

Epaphras sighed. "Where else would he go? And who would want to tell him that Hephaistion might be dead? He fell from a cliff, Nikias, he..."

Just then footsteps were heard and Alexander appeared, looking surprised to see them, but he smiled in greeting as he approached them.

Nikias swallowed hard, he did not want to be the bearer of bad news and yet, because he held the pendant he felt that he should be the one to say something.

"Tell him, Nikias," Sostrate said, nudging him.

"Tell me what?" asked Alexander, laughing at the three of them, then turning to look upon the boy with curiosity.

Nikias placed the pendant in Alexander's hand. "We don't know if he is dead," he said, glancing at Alexander's chest to see a matching pendant sitting there, "this boy says that Hephaistion had fallen from a cliff...but he survived."

"He had a fever when I left...three days ago," the boy cut in, "father feared that he would die and sent me to find his family".

Alexander looked at the pendant in his hand, he seemed bewildered by the news. "How badly hurt is he?" he asked, his voice breaking with emotion.

Everyone looked to the boy to provide the answer.

The boy gave a low bow, as if suddenly realising who he was talking to and remembering his manners. He swallowed hard before he spoke, almost in a whisper, "I do not think he will survive, not by how sick he was when I left.".

OOXXOO

Alexander closed his fingers tightly around the pendant and turned. He strode back towards his father's rooms, where he had just been, hearing the others follow but not caring if they did or not.

Antipater was talking with his father but Alexander broke the conversation by placing the pendant down before his father and relating the story, all that he knew, angry at first but when he saw the affect of the news he softened, knowing he would be allowed to go, to be with Hephaistion, if he were still alive.

"What of his wife?" Philip asked, turning to the boy.

Alexander noticed the boy step back as his father's one-eyed gaze focussed on him, as if the cyclops had come to life. Giving the boy his due he managed to answer saying no-one else had been found.

"I'm going to him," Alexander said.

"Then take my surgeon," replied Philip, turning away to order a servant to run to fetch the man, to tell him to be ready at the stables right away. He sighed and looked back towards his son. "Get going, Alexander. Get to him as soon as you can, I will follow on with supplies that you might need."

Alexander embraced his father then turned to the boy. "What is your name?" he asked.

"Aeschylus," came the reply.

"Can you ride? I shall be travelling at speed."

Shaking his head Aeschylus said he could not go with them, that his family only had a horse to pull the cart, anything faster and he would fall. So Alexander asked directions to where he could find the house and as soon as he was satisfied that he could find it he headed from the room.

Only stopping to collect his sword and a chlamys, ordering a servant to put some things together for him and telling Nikias, Epaphras and Sostrate they would be riding with him, he made his way to the stables. His father's surgeon, also called Philip, had just got to the stables, holding a bag with what he might need, he took his horse from the groom and leapt up on to its back, giving an encouraging smile and Alexander knew he could keep up the pace as he had been on several campaigns and could ride well.

As soon as they were out of the city walls Alexander pushed Bucephalus to a gallop, not caring if the others could keep up or not, all he could think of was getting to Hephaistion, he prayed to the gods that he would not be too late. He wished that Bucephalus had the wings of Pegasus at that moment, to hurry him to Hephaistion's side.

Stopping only for the time needed to let the horses rest, they made good time and arrived at the coast by early evening, a journey which would have taken two days with a horse and cart had taken half a day at the gallop.

Following the directions given, Alexander headed along the road, down a hill, looking for the place described, a potter's house, close to the beach. It came in to view sooner than he expected and Alexander only gave a moment to check the others were with him before he galloped forward.

A large man stepped up, as Alexander approached, with the stance of a soldier expecting trouble, an older man came out of the small, ramshackle house and hurried over asking if he had come from Pella, if Aesychlus had sent them, he nodded to the others, looked to the surgeon and then back to Alexander.

The man studied him for a moment. "Are you the King's son? He has talked of the palace and Alexander but I thought the fever still remained. When I told him my son had gone to Pella he was fretful that he wouldn't find you."

Alexander dismounted and the larger man came forward causing Alexander's companions to put their hands to their swords.

"It's alright, Meno," the older man said, "they are friends of Icarus". The man smiled. "It's what we called him, Meno will get confused if we change it now. He led the way back to the house. "He had a fever but that has broken, though he is weak, he has slept a lot but over the last couple of days he has been awake more often and talked a little, he's awake now I should think, he just had a little broth."

Alexander took a deep breath, relief flooding over him as he looked to the surgeon and smiled. Hephaistion still lived. He followed the man in to the house, which, having only one window was gloomy inside, Alexander had to wait while his eyes adjusted from the brightness of the light outside to the darkness of the interior. Nikias, Sostrate and Epaphras stepped in behind him, also eager to see Hephaistion but they held back by the broken door, letting the surgeon through and watching as Alexander went to Hephaistion.

In the far corner of the room, lying upon an old straw-filled mattress, covered by a worn blanket, was Hephaistion. Alexander knelt by his right side, aware that his father's surgeon followed and knelt the other side.

"We feared he would die," the potter whispered, bending over and studying his patient, "we still fear it."

Hephaistion looked on Alexander as if he were a dream, a shade appearing from the darkness. "Alexander," he murmured, smiling to see him, he raised his right hand and clutched at Alexander's chiton as if the very act could pull him back from death, as if he would never let go.

"Oh, Hephaistion," Alexander breathed looking at the wounds not hidden by bandages or the thin blanket, the marks upon his love's face, the left arm strapped to his side, the bruising and cuts on his arms.

"I thought it best that I should die and not be a burden," Hephaistion said, softly, "but now that you are here..."

Philip pulled at the bandages holding the broken shoulder in place, moving Hephaistion a little to inspect the workmanship of the repair. "Who bound his arm?" he asked.

"Meno. Meno knew what to do, don't ask me how."

The surgeon nodded. "Good work," he commented.

"I got here as quickly as I could, the moment that I heard," Alexander assured Hephaistion. "Now I am here you must get well."

Hephaistion's attention seemed to wander, he did not reply but moved his head a little so he could look upon the surgeon.

Alexander gently placed his right hand along the side of Hephaistion's face, to gain his attention once more. "Where is Pelagia?" he asked. "Is she in any danger? Did she suffer the same fate?"

Hephaistion was slow to answer, distracted once more, almost in a dream, then he focussed again. "There was no baby, " he said, and a tear rolled gently down his cheek.

"Where is she, Hephaistion? Where is Pelagia?" Alexander said. He turned to Nikias. "Find a lamp and light it, it's so dark in here." Then he turned back to look upon Hephaistion.

"I never meant to hurt you," Hephaistion assured him. He gasped, then tried to move himself a little, both the surgeon and Alexander helped him till he signalled he was comfortable. He tightened his grip on Alexander's chiton, not having let it go. "Pelagia is in Rhodes...with her lover, Phokas...the servant."

Nikias stepped forward with a lighted lamp which banished the gloom, he smiled at Hephaistion as he placed it on a wooden stool and then stepped back.

"Nikias," Hephaistion said, then looked towards the lamp. "There was no baby. She planned it all, told her mother she was with child, who told her father, who demanded that she marry, she needed to stay in Macedon to get free of her family."

"And I had made it an easy choice for my father and I rejected you, thinking you were happy," Alexander said, placing his hand over Hephaistion's.

"She loved Phokas. With her family gone she could tell the lie again and say she wanted to go to Athens when Rhodes was always in her mind. Phokas hired two men, to help him to kill me. Nobody would know of my death, so soon, they could take what money I had."

"Don't tire him, Alexander. Enough now, Hephaistion," the surgeon soothed.

"When I sleep...sometimes I am not sure if I will wake again," Hephaistion said, "I want the story told." He closed his eyes, gathering his thoughts, then looked on Alexander. "Aspasia said Pelagia was ill, I went to her, thinking something was wrong, she said it was the baby and held her hand to her side. Concerned for her I did not notice anything, then I was hit, stunned, my legs went from under me and I was held. They stripped me, taking everything of value, then dragged me to the cliff edge, I tried to fight but was held too tightly."

Alexander looked down, seeing the bruises still there where the assassins had held him. He realised he should take the surgeon's advice and let Hephaistion rest but he wanted to know it all.

"Pelagia told me everything," Hephaistion continued, "Phokas was by her side, laughing, embracing her. They were going to Rhodes as man and wife. It was Pelagia who gave the order and I felt the ground disappear and I thought that I was dead."

"Like an execution," the potter said. "We wondered what had happened, I sent my son to look at the cliff top but there was no sign of anything."

Alexander wanted to go and find the woman who had to tried to kill the one person who meant the world to him, to drag her back to the same cliff and have her suffer the same fate. He had not known, perhaps if he had stayed a part of Hephaistion's life he would have seen something, perhaps they might have gone to Athens together, he could have saved him any pain. "I won't leave you, Hephaistion," Alexander vowed, "nobody will part us. Sleep safely now, I will be by your side."

"I want to look on you," Hephaistion smiled, though his eyes half-closed with fatigue. "I never meant to hurt you...but the fates have been unkind." Unable to keep his eyes open any longer he drifted in to a peaceful sleep. His fingers lost their grip on Alexander's chiton but Alexander took his hand, lifted it up and held it tightly.


	6. Chapter 6

Alexander looked towards the surgeon for reassurance that all was well, he had ridden to Thermia thinking he might arrive too late, now he was here, reunited with Hephaistion, he could not bear the thought that anything or anyone might part them again.

Philip sighed. "I hoped to examine him but he needs to rest." He gently pulled back the threadbare blanket which covered Hephaistion, hoping to be able to see more but gave up the task when Hephaistion murmured in his sleep.

"I forget my manners," the potter said. "Would you like some wine?" He slapped his forehead with the palm of his right hand. "I am Euripedes...named after the playwright," he said and smiled, "I named my son after another, we joke that he will call his son Homer."

"I would gladly accept some wine," Alexander replied, finding a cup ready to be offered already being pushed in to his free hand.

Euripedes nodded towards Hephaistion. "We thought he must have family and guessed he might have come from Pella, partly because it is the largest place we know."

"The fates must have guided your son then," Philip laughed.

"Ah," smiled Euripedes, "Icarus has scars from a blade and a noble face, I told my son to go to the barracks, to the cavalry and prayed to the gods he would find someone who knew him." He handed Philip a cup of wine. "What is his name?" he asked.

"Hephaistion, his name is Hephaistion," Alexander answered, the same of his lover's name sounding so good to him.

Nikias came forward again to say that Sostrate and Epaphras were making camp and would then go hunting for supper. He looked over at Hephaistion and then at the surgeon. " I wondered how Hephaistion was. Will he live?" he asked, his face concerned.

"His life has already been saved by Euripedes and Meon," Philip replied, "I can ease his pain and help him rest, he should be back on his feet in no time at all."

Nikias grinned to hear it, taking the cup of wine that Euripedes placed in his hand and drinking the contents down in one go. "I thought when they said he had fallen from a cliff..." he said, and smiled.

"Meon deserves praise," the surgeon said, "for setting the shoulder right away. Had it been left until this day then the arm would have been useless to him, the damage irreparable."

Euripedes nodded. "He doesn't speak, I don't think he can. Meon just turned up here one day, like a stray dog might, and began to load the cart for market. My wife died when my son was born, he was just a young boy when Meon arrived here and the man has been invaluable even if his mind is a little slow." He looked towards the door. "He won't come in, not with you all here."

Alexander looked down at Hephaistion, then around the house, feeling grateful for all that had been done, words of thanks would never convey the way he felt. These men had saved a life so valuable to him, but at the same time he wished that Hephaistion was at Pella, lying in more comfort, in a light and airy room. "It should be no trouble to find Pelagia in Rhodes," he said, to himself.

"A dagger would have done the job just as well," the surgeon said, judging Hephaistion to be so deeply asleep he could now pull the blanket back, revealing a bruised and battered body. "It's a wonder he survived."

"There is a ledge, covered in sand, he landed there when there were rocks either side," Euripedes said.

Philip placed his hand on Hephaistion's right hip, black and purple from where it had obviously hit the rocks. He reached over and took Hephaistion's hand from Alexander so that he could examine his arm, running his fingers over the bruising, flexing it, then he ran his hand along Hephaistion's right side.

"He has bruises on the left side," Euripedes offered, "they are hidden by the bandages'.

Nodding, the surgeon examined Hephaistion's legs, the left thigh was bruised badly but no bones were broken though the skin was cut and scraped. After pulling the blanket back in place he looked over at Alexander. "Some god must have wanted him alive, that's all I can say," he said.

Alexander sat up straight, not realising that he had leaned forward during Philip's examination, anxious that it would show no lasting ills. He sighed, then looked over to where Nikias stood watching.

"Nikias, I know we have travelled quickly over a distance to get here, but one more favour," Alexander asked. "Would you ride to Thermia and fetch some supplies, blankets...cushions, a couple of chitons for Hephaistion."

"I have spare blankets for him," Euripedes said, laying his hand on a bundle of worn pieces of cloth.

"They are for our camp, I cannot put you to any trouble," Alexander replied, fully intending the cushions and a new blanket to be given to Hephaistion.

"Take my horse if you need it, to carry things," the surgeon said, getting to his feet and groaning, "I need to stretch my legs, I'll be outside if you need me."

Alexander finally found himself alone with Hephaistion as Nikias and Euripedes followed Philip.

OOXXOO

The night of the banquet, that was the last time they had been alone, when he had been so cruel because he wanted more and Hephaistion had the sense to see the danger. He leaned forward now and stole a kiss, pulling back to see lapis eyes gazing on him.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Alexander whispered..

"I have slept enough," Hephaistion replied, "I used to dream of you, but now that you are here I would rather stay awake...but I am tired, my body aches."

Alexander reached up, he had placed Hephaistion's pendant around his neck, he took it off and gently placed it over Hephaistion's head, taking another kiss which was all the sweeter as Hephaistion returned it, slow and gentle, saying more than words could ever do.

"We will not be parted again," Alexander vowed, "I will take exile again if my father so much as suggests we should not be together. We can ride back to Illyria, go hunting along the way, find a tribe who need a leader."

"You hated it...last time," Hephaistion said, "I know how much you wanted to return, to be King of Macedon some day."

"You mean more," Alexander said, earnestly. "We may be able to go to Rhodes to find Pelagia and her lover, take revenge. She thought to kill you, she will think she is seeing a shade when she sees you walk in to the room."

Hephaistion nodded, then sought Alexander's hand. "The vengeance might be all yours," he said.

Confused by the reply, Alexander looked in to Hephaistion's eyes, seeking understanding. Sadness and fear. "Pelagia deserves to be punished for what she has done, if my father..."

"Alexander....some things are not to be," Hephaistion interrupted.

"Philip says you will recover," Alexander assured him, noting Hephaistion's reaction and feeling unsettled by it. Something was wrong. "What is it, Hephaistion?" he breathed. "What do you know? What do you fear?"

Hephaistion bit his lip and studied Alexander as if judging if he should speak or not. "I would go to the end of the world with you if I could," he said.

"One day," Alexander said, fighting the urge to call the surgeon back, to find what he had missed."

"The fates have not done with us...I was crippled in the fall, Alexander, I cannot move my legs, or feel them."

Alexander laughed in disbelief. "You will recover," he insisted, choosing to ignore what he had been told.

Reaching for Alexander's chiton, Hephaistion gripped it once more. "When I woke...after the fall, I tried then to move them, I was in pain but my legs felt numb. I have been ill but in any lucid moment the fear that I will not walk again has haunted me. He looked down. "You have your hand on my knee, Alexander, and I cannot feel it."

Alexander looked down at his hand, then moved it to clasp the hand that clasped his chiton. "Perhaps Philip will know," he whispered, "perhaps he will know what to do. I should fetch him back here."

"I can not go anywhere with you now," Hephaistion said softly. "It might have been better if I had been killed...but now you are here I want only to live."

Tears filled Alexander's eyes, he leaned forward and kissed Hephaistion's lips. "It can't be true, I won't let it be true. Let me fetch the surgeon."

"Not yet," Hephaistion pleaded. "Let me have a moment alone with you."

"I shall find Pelagia and have her punished, the servant and the men they hired too," Alexander vowed.

"I missed you," whispered Hephaistion, "with every fibre of my body, every day, Alexander. I would push you away when all I wanted was to hold you, to have things back the way they were."

Alexander gripped Hephaistion's hand tightly, unwittingly making him gasp.

"I still feel my hand," he said, smiling as Alexander softened his hold. "It is so good to see you," he said earnestly, as another tear rolled down his face. "Perhaps we were not meant to have it all."

Alexander lay down beside Hephaistion, resting his head upon the pillow, because he could now, he would not allow anyone to part them. When his father arrived he would tell him as much, although the man seemed to have realised his mistake. "I will see them punished," he vowed once more, "and keep you close".

"I thought of Mieza, of our times there...the first time you kissed me."

"You seduced me," Alexander said.

"You were jealous of my spending time with Perdiccas, you pounced on me."

"Before Perdiccas did, you were going hunting with him..."

"...and you thought something might happen." Hephaistion looked in to Alexander's eyes and smiled. "I am glad you were so jealous."

"Of Perdiccas? Never."

Hephaistion nodded, then closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again to focus on Alexander, once more. "You had no need to be, I never had feelings for Perdiccas, it was always you, Alexander, my love."

"I still say you seduced me."

"If you call enlisting Perdiccas' help seduction. We thought you would never take the bait."

Alexander laughed. "You will make a general some day."

"And how people would have talked. Things can not be the same now."

"I should fetch the surgeon."

"Not yet."

They were going to Rhodes."

"I know," Alexander soothed, "you already told me."

"Yes," breathed Hephaistion, his eyes closing again. "Rhodes," he murmured before sleep claimed him once more.

Alexander held Hephaistion's hand close to his chest, saying a prayer to all the gods he could think of at that moment to help his love, thanking whichever of them had saved him. Yet, he was crippled. Alexander thought on the life that Hephaistion might have now, even if they were together. Hephaistion would be confined to a bed, a chair or a litter, trapped like a wounded animal, dying inside.

Moving gently, Alexander got up from the poor bed, pausing a moment before he walked outside. There he found Philip, sitting talking to Euripedes, who was checking how the clay pots were drying in the sun.

"He's asleep again," Alexander said.

"He's better than he was," replied Euripedes, "I just began to think he might survive it all."

Alexander signalled to Philip, then moved away, aware that the surgeon was following him. He walked up a slope and found himself looking over at the sea, a ship was on the water, it's sail unfurled.

"Don't worry if he sleeps," soothed the surgeon, "it will heal him."

Looking at the ground, Alexander hesitated, finding himself afraid to admit what Hephaistion had told him. If he said it then it must be true; if he said it then his father would soon know and might interfere in his plans to keep Hephaistion close. He shook his head and looked at Philip, distracted for a moment at how the man shared the same name as his father but was the antithesis of the man.

"He cannot feel his legs," Alexander whispered.

Philip looked puzzled, as if he might not have heard the words correctly, then he sighed and ran his right hand across his face before shaking his head and spitting on the ground as if the news had left a bad taste in his mouth. "It might have been too much to expect that he could escape with just cuts, bruises and a broken shoulder," he said.

Alexander looked back to sea, unable to speak, angry with the fates.

"He's still here, Alexander," Philip said. "Euripedes might have been pointing out the site of the pyre, but he is not. With your help, Hephaistion can learn to live with his disability. He's from a noble family, with support from his family's estate..."

"Is that what you tell everyone?" Alexander snapped, instantly apologising to the man. "I'm sorry, but why should Hephaistion have to suffer?"

"A poor man would have no hope but to beg on the streets, or be a burden to his family," the surgeon said, softly. "Hephaistion has you."

Alexander nodded, knowing the truth of it. "Examine him again," he asked, "let's see how bad it is".

"When he wakes," Philip replied, then walked away, back to Euripedes.

Kicking at the ground, Alexander waited for the storm of his emotions to settle, then turned and made his way back to Hephaistion.

OOXXOO

Nikias returned just after dark, greeted by Sostrate and Epaphras who had returned from hunting and were already cooking the meat over a fire.

They helped him to unload Philip's horse, then fetched Alexander, who chose a couple of large pillows and a blanket, then asked that they inform him when the supper was cooked, before heading back in to the house.

Hephaistion had woken and Philip had carried out a full examination, more to satisfy Alexander than for doubt of Hephaistion's self-diagnosis.

Gradually, they helped Hephaistion to sit up, using the two new pillows to support him. The action caused him a little pain but he seemed better for it and at least now he could see around the room and he smiled at Euripedes and asked after Meno, who still stayed outside. He spoke a little then he fell asleep once more.

Euripedes enquired about when Aeschylus would return, whether he might see his son again by morning or later in the day. Alexander replied that he thought it might be by late morning. Apparently, Meno would be leaving for Thermia at dawn, to take some pots to the market there, Aeschylus normally accompanied him but this time Meno would have to go alone.

Alexander offered to send someone with him and Euripedes was pleased with this and thanked him for his kindness.

"I owe you a great deal, Euripedes," Alexander said, "for giving Hephaistion help and shelter as you did."

"I never thought he was the friend of a prince, I did worry he was some rogue who had been hurled from the cliff as a punishment, but he was too weak to cause harm and Meno has an instinct when it comes to people. He was keen enough to help, carrying him here from the beach and setting his shoulder like he did." He looked to Hephaistion. "I never knew...I suppose he will be cared for...but he is a fine boy it is tragic that he will not walk again."

"When my father arrives, we will set up a larger camp here, if you don't mind. Euripedes. Then I shall move Hephaistion out of here."

Euripedes grinned. "I never thought to have Philip of Macedon, or his son, here as my guests. Wait until they hear at Thermia."

OOXXOO

Hephaistion woke during the night, with the thought that something had happened yesterday, something good. Confused for a moment, he became aware of someone lying at his side and remembered. Alexander.

Alexander was with him now.

He moved his head a little to the right, it was too dark to see the detail of his face but Hephaistion knew it all by heart so it did not matter. Alexander's breathing was soft and slow, he was asleep, his arm draped around Hephaistion's waist. As it should always have been.

Tears filled his eyes as he thought about his wedding day, of the marriage he had tried to make work. If Pelagia was unhappy, then he was doubly so. Yet it had been Pelagia's wish to marry because in the end, free of her family, she just had to rid herself of a husband and then she could be with Phokas.

Anyone, any man would have done. Alexander's proposal was discovered at the perfect moment for Alkaios to find a groom, to rid himself of a daughter only too happy to be rid of him.

His thoughts brought him to the cliff edge, and in the dark, even safe with Alexander he felt panic grip him. He had dug his feet in to the ground, tried to resist as they pulled him to the edge.

His right hand sought Alexander's chiton, it calmed him, he had a tight enough grip of the fabric that he could not fall.

Turning his head to look up in to the dark, Hephaistion tried to move his legs. He had prayed that the feeling in them might return but still they would not obey his commands. He tried to move his feet but even that simple effort tired him and he allowed himself to sink back in to oblivion, where he did not have to think of what his life would be now.

He had thought it would have been better if he had been killed, but Alexander was with him now. He turned his head again, closed his eyes and felt sleep claim him.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning, before Nikias went with Meno to Thermia, or Sostrate and Epaphras went to hunt, Alexander dressed Hephaistion in one of the new chitons, then had his men help him to carry Hephaistion gently out in to the sunlight and over to their camp, set high, where they could see the sea. The men had not been idle, they had spent their time at the camp making a litter that Hephaistion could lie on. At first the sunlight hurt his eyes but he thanked them for their efforts as they lay him down, brought out more cushions and propped him up so he was comfortable.

Alexander fetched some cooked meat and a cup of wine over while Sostrate and Epaphras had a moment to talk, trying to make light of a bad situation, careful not to talk of the future. They stepped back and went to see to the horses as Alexander served Hephaistion his breakfast, sitting on the side of the litter, smiling at him as he ate.

Nikias brought a basin of warm water and a cloth then said his farewells as he could see Meno setting off with the cart and feared he would be left behind.

When Hephaistion had eaten, Alexander washed him with the warm water, then shaved his face for Euripedes and Meno had let his beard grow.

Hephaistion smiled. "Better?" he asked.

Alexander nodded and lifted a tress of Hephaistion's hair up with one finger and twisted it. Free to touch once more. He released it and sat quietly, raising his right knee to rest his arm across it, while looking on Hephaistion's traitorous legs, as if he stared hard enough and willed it, they might begin to move.

He glanced at his friend, to see he was lying awake, lost in thought. Alexander looked across the sea, taking a deep breath of the air.

"I have a house," Hephaistion said, softly.

Alexander turned back to him.

"I have a place I can be…like this," Hephaistion continued. "I have some money left, perhaps enough to hire a servant to help me, enough to live on for a little while at least".

"There is no need when my father's guilt will provide you with a room at the palace and enough servants to care for you."

Hephaistion smiled. "I want to keep my independence if I can." He sighed. "Your father just thought to see me married, to part the two of us, in his temper. Nobody but the gods knew what Pelagia was planning, that she loved Phokas."

"How could she not love you," Alexander whispered, and lay down beside his closest friend.

Reaching for Alexander's hand, Hephaistion held it tightly. "I am afraid for the future," he confided, "for all that we have ever dreamed. I cannot be there with you now, not how it should have been."

Alexander leaned forward and kissed Hephaistion's brow, then moved down to softly kiss his lips. "A short while ago, you told me that we had no more time to be together, yet here we are, Hephaistion. We are together, some god has seen to it, and perhaps the same god will see you by my side, will see you well, we just have to believe it."

"I missed your kisses," Hephaistion said.

"You will get well," Alexander said, rolling on to his stomach to look in to his love's lapis eyes.

"And being with you."

"We'll find a way as we always have," urged Alexander. "Don't give up on me now, Hephaistion."

Biting his lip, Hephaistion studied Alexander.

"We were taught to fight," Alexander continued, "but fighting does not have to be about how to wield a weapon all the time. Sometimes it has to come from within. I am with you, I can help you to win this battle and even when it is done, if you are still lying here, by my side, then we will know that we tried. Don't give up."

"I can't even sit up without help."

"Your arm is strapped up, your back is bruised, it's no wonder you can't."

Hephaistion laughed. "You have such fire in your eyes, Alexander. How can I refuse when fighting is my only option."

Alexander grinned and leaned over to take another kiss.

00XX00

The King arrived in the early afternoon, bringing Cleitus and Philotas with him and the Royal Guard. Two small carts with supplies wheeled around and tents were immediately offloaded, the men wasting no time in setting up a proper camp.

Hephaistion slept through it all, the surgeon having given him a drink to help him rest and ease some of the discomfort he was in.

Alexander got up from the litter to see his father looking over at him, then he waited while he dismounted and limped over. He studied his face, determined not to let the man part them. If it meant giving up his chance of the throne, going in to exile with Hephaistion once more then, at that moment, he felt that he could do it.

Philip looked over his shoulder, nodding towards Aeschylus who was hurrying to greet Euripedes, talking loudly about Pella, about the palace.

"The boy made us think Hephaistion might have died." His one eye looked to the litter. "How is he? Will he live?"

Alexander nodded. "Your surgeon thinks so. He only rests now because of a sleeping draft he has been given."

Philip grunted and moved closer to take a better look. "He broke his shoulder? That is all?" He seemed surprised, "I would have thought it might have killed him, I'm very grateful it did not."

Seeing how he might attack and win the battle, win back Hephaistion, Alexander chose his words carefully. "Who knows what the fates have planned at any time, Father. Hephaistion was not killed but crippled in the fall," He paused a moment, to judge his father's reaction, seeing the regret and the guilt upon his face. "If the gods wanted Hephaistion harmed then they had to get him away from me. I made a mistake, one that roused your anger...understandably, then Alkaios came too you, with perfect timing, looking for a groom as he had believed Pelagia was with child, she told them the same story."

Looking to his son Philip shook his head, then gazed upon Hephaistion before sitting upon the litter to take the injured man's hand, turning his arm to see the bruises. "Your telling me there was no child?"

"They had Hephaistion thrown from the cliff, to make Pelagia a widow so she would be free to marry the servant that she loved. They got him away from Pella so his death would not be known of so quickly, to give them time to get away and to take his money, what possessions he had. They have gone to Rhodes, and if you would allow it, Father, I would like to send some men to hunt them down, men who know her, Nikias, Epaphras and Sostrate. I would ask to go myself but I can not leave Hephaistion."

Alexander stayed quiet, waiting several long moments before his father chose to speak.

"I meant no harm by this," he said. "I heard Hephaistion had no part in your proposal. I did not intend for the boy to be harmed." He shook his head and looked at his son. "And he is crippled?"

Hephaistion began to wake, turning his head to gaze upon the figure on the litter, beside him. "Alexander?" he whispered, his eyes opening from sleep.

Alexander stepped forward and knelt upon the ground before him. "My father is here, Hephaistion."

Nodding his acknowledgement, Hephaistion became concerned. "Don't let him part us," he said, freeing his hand from the King's and seeking Alexander's.

Philip put his hand on Hephaistion's brow for a moment. "These drugs that Philip uses, they do their work, but I know them of old and I know the confusion that they bring when you first wake." He pulled his hand back and got up to his feet. "If he is crippled then he must stay here when we go to Persia, so don't be getting any ideas of bringing him with us."

Alexander opened his mouth to speak but stopped as his father held up his hand.

"If this was a trick of the gods...if they intended Hephaistion to be this way, then they have had their sport. Stay with him Alexander, do what you will, but be there on the training ground and ready to come to Persia because I want you there with me, Antipater will be regent in our absence. Before you go, make provision for Hephaistion, give him what he needs...I will not try to part you again, when Hephaistion wakes properly you can tell him I granted his wish."

"Thank you, Father." Alexander leaned forward to embrace the man before him, surprised to find himself held tightly.

"Watch what you do, and listen to Hephaistion," the King whispered in his ear.

Philip wandered off to talk to his surgeon, Alexander sat down by Hephaistion's side, unable to stop himself from grinning. All he had to do was get Hephaistion on his feet.

OOXXOO

Nikias came galloping back to the camp in the late afternoon, dismounting and staying by the house, obviously anxious to bring news but wanting to be careful who heard.

Looking to his father, Alexander helped him up from where he was talking with Cleitus and Euripedes and went with him over to Nikias, turning to see Cleitus following, Philotas too, but with one look he told Parmenion's son to stay at his place.

Nikias bowed to Philip, then looked to Alexander before turning back to the king to tell him what he had found out. "The ship Hephaistion's wife took, it has been wrecked. It is the talk of Thermia, pieces of it have washed upon the shore, the body of a man too, badly disfigured and bloated by all accounts but recognised as one of the crew by the clothing that he still wore." He nodded towards Aeschylus, sitting at the camp. "The boy said there had been a storm that night. Pelagia and the lover will be dead."

"Poseidon took revenge," Philip said, putting his hand on his son's shoulder. "No need to send anyone to Rhodes now. I'll have to send a letter to her father, try to explain all that has occurred, try to explain this mess."

"Don't worry for him, Father. He should apologise for the trouble his daughter caused, for all that is has cost."

Alexander had wanted the revenge, he was angry that it had been denied him but he walked away and looked out to sea,saying a silent prayer of thanks to the god.

He broke the news to Hephaistion, who did not say too much about it but nodded his head, absorbing the information.

"I would have had them found," Alexander said, looking in to his love's lapis eyes.

Hephaistion shook his head gently. "No, I am glad it was this way...if I wanted them punished at all, she was wilful, a spoilt child but her only crime was to love someone she could not have."

Alexander felt his temper rise that Hephaistion could be so forgiving. "They had no thought for you like that, they meant to kill you. They could have stolen from you and left you bound if they had to, they could have run away together from the start but they chose to kill you and did not even give you the speed of a blade to do so."

When Alexander finished his tirade, Hephaistion smiled at him. "I had my chance to live and be with you, I am glad they did not use a blade. They could have run from the start but Pelagia needed money, she loved beautiful things..."

"Then she should have loved you," Alexander interrupted.

Hephaistion reached up to caress Alexander's face. "She had money when we married, I wanted to be a good husband and not deny her what she wanted, I had the guilt of loving you." He sighed deeply. "She wanted me dead and all her reasons I will never know, like I never understood her in life, I will never now have the chance as she is dead."

Alexander looked away, across the sea, the sun was beginning to set. "Either way, you should make an offering to Poseidon and I will do the same because I am glad he saw them punished."

"Enough now," Hephaistion whispered, then looked around. "Is supper ready?"

00XX00

Without a word being spoken a circle formed as they ate supper, a pleasant banquet made up of people who might never mix in normal circumstances.

Philip sat upon a wooden bench with Cleitus to his right hand side, sharing a flask of wine between them. Somewhat contrite, Philotas sat to the left hand side of the bench, staring at the flames's of the fire in the centre. Then Sostrate and Epaphras sat still eating their fill of meat, next to them Hephaistion on his litter with Alexander right beside him. Nikias after that, then Euripedes and Aeschylus looking bemused to be in the party but laughing at Philip's jokes and listening intently to his stories of campaigns long gone. Even Meno sat and ate with them, though not part of the circle but happy enough as Nikias had thought to bring him wine.

As it grew dark, Hephaistion slept once more and the surgeon had him taken from the litter and carried to the tent where a bed had been prepared. When he was settled more medicine was given to him, with Alexander watching intently, wondering if it was so necessary, the fever they had spoken of had gone and it was so good to have Hephaistion with him after their enforced parting.

Alexander came back out to the campfire, going to his father when signalled to come over. Philip gave an order for Philotas to move out of the way and then patted the spare seat beside him as a signal for Alexander to sit beside him. He had drunk his fill of wine and his voice was slurred. father's face.

"Bring him back to Pella. He will have the care that he requires then, I'll make it right, Alexander, as best I can."

"Hephaistion will die if he is left to lie within a room, isolated from the world. He has always filled every moment, with a longing to explore...to learn."

"You sound as if you are talking about yourself. You think Hephaistion will react the same as you? He's going to have to accept his life has changed."

Alexander looked at his father, not wishing to hear this acceptance of Hephaistion's paralysis as though it were a permanent thing.

Philip shook his head. "We will include him in court life the best we can. The sooner the lad gets used to the idea...to the change...the better."

"He cannot travel yet, your surgeon says so," Alexander said, hoping to buy time. In his mind, if he thought about the future now, it was of Hephaistion lying in a darkened room, shut out of life and the image angered him. "A place like Mieza would be good, he would be free from the stares of the court."

Philip laughed. "I should go there then." He took another good sip of wine.

"You thought of Mieza...but, Alexander, it is not ideal. A peaceful place but too many steps to carry a litter up, then the trouble of bringing it down.

Alexander reached for a piece of wood he'd noticed on the ground and picked it up, absently throwing it in the fire. He had just realised the same thing, and there were too many memories there. They could not stay here and camp indefinitely as once word spread at Thermia people would come to stand and watch and point out the cripple. He was just thinking that it had to be Pella when another place came to mind.

"Ptolemy. His family estate is close to here, the same distance as to Pella. We could go there."

Philip opened his mouth to protest but then, obviously counselling himself, he closed it. Staring in to the fire with his one eye. "I exiled him."

"He still will be exiled, Father. I have seen the house, it has views of the country all around it...."

"I know it, I know it. Long before you were born I went there a lot." Philip nodded. "Take him there then. It's decided."

Alexander smiled, pleased to have won a victory, then surprised to have his father reach over and ruffle his hair, like he had when he was a boy and in favour. He had intended going to Hephaistion but, savouring the moment, he stayed close to his father, listening to stories of the past and laughing at the way his father conveyed them.

OOXXOO

When Alexander eventually retired for the night he headed for Hephaistion's tent, choosing to lie down beside his friend, holding him close, though the medicine had claimed him and he was oblivious to his touch.

For a moment he lay, wondering at the pleasure it brought him just to lie so close, matching his breaths with Hephaistion's, feeling sleep claim him.

He must have fallen asleep, for how long he did not know, but he awoke as Hephaistion cried out, began to move.

Thinking it was a nightmare, Alexander sat up and tried to wake his friend, quickly realising that no bad dream held him in its grip but raw pain. He rose from the bed, stepping out of the tent, finding the surgeon and calling for him, before hurrying back to find Hephaistion clutching at the blankets, his body twisted, and even by the moonlight, by some miracle, he could see his legs move.

As the surgeon arrived, Alexander quickly lit a lamp then reached for Hephaistion's hand, soothing him as Philip carried out his examination. A bleary-eyed Nikias appeared with a couple of the guard, standing at the entrance watching the proceedings.

Philip pulled back the blankets, what part of them still covered Hephaistion, hesitating a moment, almost disbelieving what he was seeing, but a stifled cry from Hephaistion brought him back from his thoughts and with just a glance to Alexander he began to massage his patient's left leg.

Alexander knelt on the ground and copied the surgeon's movements on he right leg, the deep massage seemed to quickly ease Hephaistion's pain and he settled once more upon his back, opening his lapis eyes to watch the scene before him. His face was pale a sheen of sweat upon it.

"Cramp," Philip said, sitting back and stopping his massage, smiling at Alexander as he did the same.

"But how? When he is crippled?" Alexander asked, his voice held hope, he looked down at Hephaistion's legs, hoping they might move once more.

The surgeon laughed. "I don't know, I have heard of this happening at times...of it happening once before."

"So he will walk?" Alexander looked to the surgeon.

"I can't say. Though it looks as though not all feeling has gone, it might not be enough for him to be the same as he was before."

"It's better than before." Alexander lifted Hephaistion's hand to his lips and kissed it. "You will walk again," he promised.

"I felt pain...I have had cramp...but not this bad," Hephaistion gasped.

"You moved your foot, Hephaistion," Alexander said, then laughed with a mixture of relief and joy."

Philip stood up and fetched a cup of wine, then with Alexander's help they propped Hephaistion up on pillows so that he could drink a little.

"Are you in pain now?" the surgeon asked.

Hephaistion shook his head. "My shoulder but that is because my arm is strapped, I feel no pain now.

Nikias stepped in to the tent, reaching for the discarded blankets, lifting them up and placing them over Hephaistion's legs. "You'll be getting cold," he murmured.

Philip stood up and stretched. "I'll get back to my bed, you know where to find me if you need me." He smiled. "Things might not be so bad, Hephaistion. In the morning I'll examine you again, see how things are."

Hephaistion nodded and thanked the surgeon, then Nikias, acknowledging the guards who wished him health before they left. He looked to Alexander.

"Health to you," he whispered, "I never thought of it before. When you are fit and well it is just something that you say, when you are ill...or crippled, it is like a prayer." He looked down at his legs, his lips pressed firmly together, eyes fixed in concentration. His right foot moved again. He smiled and looked to Alexander.

"It is a start," Alexander soothed, pulling the blankets over his legs, to share, then lying down beside his love and draping his arm around him.


	8. Chapter 8

Alexander was not sure if either of them slept so much that night but he got up as dawn was breaking, having heard his father's preparations to leave on a hunting trip which had been planned the night before, he had chosen to stay at the camp, wanting to make up the time he had lost with Hephaistion.

Philotas greeted him on the way, trying to make some joke which Alexander did not hear. "I have learned my lesson," he said, quickly, before he was passed by.

Alexander turned and looked at the man that he thought he could trust. "And I have learned too," he replied. He shook his head, he should have been the spoilt son, the boy given everything but it was Philotas who lived that life, his doting father giving all that he desired.

He walked away, looking down to fasten his belt and straighten his chiton, going over to where the hunters were getting ready to leave, noticing four people standing on the outskirts of the camp, pointing at him as he made his way.

Philip smiled at him, then nodded to the people.

"You'll get this. Crowds coming up from Thermia when they hear that you are here, all coming to see if what they heard was true."

Alexander looked back to the group of people. "I think a prince would not matter so much," he looked to his father, "the King is who they have come to see."

Philip grunted, then nodded towards his surgeon as he approached them. "So, Hephaistion has some feeling back. in his legs?"

"They pained him last night."

"What do you say?" Philip asked the surgeon. "Will Hephaistion walk once more?"

"I have yet to examine him but I don't want to raise anybody's hopes. Feeling sensations and being able to live as you once were..." The surgeon sighed, then looked to Alexander. "I think he will have all the help he needs."

Philip grunted once more, never the most sociable of men in the mornings. He cleared his throat and spat on the ground. "I'll be back later, try to keep out of trouble."

He pulled his horse around and called to Cleitus to come over then he looked to Alexander and smiled. The group were just leaving the camp when a messenger arrived.

"A boy! A boy!" the rider shouted as he galloped up towards them, bringing his horse to a halt before the King. "Eurydice has had a son. Both he and his mother are well, Sire."

Philip laughed and Cleitus came closer, leaning over to embrace him and offer congratulations, the rest cheered and shouted well wishes for the boy.

Alexander stood frozen, watching the scene, an icy hand seemed to be gripping at his heart, he had hoped it would be another girl but the seers had been right. Attalus had said they would have a true Macedonian as an heir and he wondered what favours this son would be given coming from the belly of a woman who was loved. He forced himself to walk forward, made himself smile and find words of congratulations, taking a breath, reminding himself that this boy would have to be lucky to have someone like Hephaistion in his life. He had Hephaistion, nothing else mattered to him.

His father changed his plans, he would head right back to Pella. Alexander was grateful he was out of the city.

"You should be there for the celebrations," his father said.

"I wish I could...but Hephaistion needs to get well.

Philip looked over his shoulder, seeing more people arriving from Thermia, some carrying baskets of food.

"Get him to Ptolemy's estate as soon as you can. Keep me informed."

"I will, Father," Alexander replied, still not feeling at his ease. but when had he ever felt relaxed in the presence of the man. Perhaps this new son would find things easier. He said farewell then went to walk away."

"Alexander!"

He turned back to his father.

"Remember what I said. The wedding will be at Aegae in four weeks. I want you there...and Persia after."

Alexander nodded his agreement. One day he might yet be king but until that day he had to obey.

00XX00

Hephaistion looked around the interior of the tent, noting the sunlight which brightened the canvas walls as he listened to life going on outside of them.

His head felt heavy on the pillow, his body felt tired when it had no reason to feel that way and his shoulder ached, though he knew the surgeon would say it was because the bones were healing.

Closing his eyes he saw Pelagia's face, the moment before he was thrown from the cliff. His heart lurched in fear as he relived the moment, recalling that he thought of Alexander and had a moment of regret he could no longer be by his side. He thought of his time with her, thinking of how she would spend time with Phokas and Aspasia, all plotting against him, all planning when and how he should be killed. Everyone said she was a pretty thing but like Olympias she schemed, she had ambitions to fulfil. Phokas had won her heart, he wondered how long he would have kept it.

Taking a deep breath, he reminded himself that Pelagia was gone, she rested now in Hades, while he rested in the arms of Alexander once more. He should forgive Aphrodite for not letting him love Pelagia, the goddess obviously had other plans for him, with Alexander. That was a good thought.

He tried to move his right leg and for his efforts he received some movement, a flexing of his ankle which seemed more involuntary than something he had willed. It seemed ridiculous to him that he should feel no pain, feel nothing, apart from his broken shoulder. He felt as if he should be able to stand, to rise easily from his bed and walk outside to join the world, but here he lay, waiting for assistance, waiting to be carried out in to the sun once more.

Hearing someone approach, Hephaistion looked to the entrance and saw the surgeon enter, Nikias right behind him.

"Right," Philip said, decisively, "let's take a look and see how you are doing".

Hephaistion looked to Nikias, seeing the pity in his eyes before he managed to mask it. It was something he would have to get used to, unless he followed Alexander's wishes and fought.

He watched as the surgeon pulled the blankets back and began to massage his legs, then saw nothing as Nikias obeyed orders to prop him up with pillows. It hurt a little to have that done, his shoulder protested as Nikias struggled to find a way to hold him. His back ached and he felt weak, lethargic.

"Try again to move your legs. The right one first," Philip instructed.

Once more, Hephaistion managed to make his ankle jerk in to life, much to the delight of Nikias who reacted as though he had just witnessed a race being won at the Olympic games.

The left leg did not win such applause, Hephaistion was only able to move his toes a little and that was with great effort on his part. He lay back on the pillows, staring at the canvas above him as the surgeon ran a dagger lightly over his legs asking him to say if he felt it. His legs felt numb, he could feel nothing.

Alexander stepped in to the tent and the world became a brighter place.

"Well?" he asked.

Hephaistion laughed to hear him, to see him wanting answers....the right answers. Nothing mattered as long as Alexander was with him.

"There is some movement coming back, it gives me some hope, some god is with him."

Looking to the surgeon, Hephaistion wished he shared his optimism, but the next moment he heard the man ask Alexander and Nikias to lift him to his feet.

He felt a moment of panic as the hands reached for him, but swallowed back his fear, these were not the men employed by Phokas and Pelagia. Still, he could not stifle a cry of pain as he was lifted up, his shoulder protesting at the assault.

Alexander and Nikias bore his weight, holding him up between them as Philip placed his feet correctly and ordered them to let him take his weight.

There was no pain, only numbness. No sensation that these legs were his legs, though he felt his body over them, seeming to press down, his upper half too heavy for the dormant legs to move He felt dizzy at being upright once more, a wave of nausea passed through him, he swallowed it back..

"It's too much," he warned, as the surgeon urged him on. He shook his head in despair as he willed his mutinous legs to work, to take a step. He was about to protest again when Alexander spoke the words for him, ordering Nikias to lower him down.

Hephaistion clutched at Alexander's chiton. A new habit that he was forming, it made him laugh and he saw the puzzlement in Alexander's grey eyes.

"I should be pushing you away. Instead I keep holding on to you."

Alexander laughed softly, understanding now. "Some movement is better than none," he said.

"Exactly," Philip exclaimed, signalling for them to raise him up again. "Just hold him this time, take some of more of his weight."

"We have to keep trying," Alexander urged him, looking deep in to his eyes.

Again he was lifted to his feet, held upright, while the surgeon walked around them, pressed on his back as if there might be pain. There was no more pain than after a wrestling bout with Craterus, where his muscles ached and protested at the force he had to use. So it was a puzzle why his legs would not move.

He was about to protest again but Alexander urged him on and with that his right foot moved a short distance upon the ground but then his balance went, just for that, just for that movement and he needed Alexander's and Nikias' support more than before as his left leg obeyed no command.

This time he held out until the surgeon had decided he had taken enough, lying him back down upon his bed, unclipping his chiton, which was fastened over only the uninjured shoulder and gently lifting the cloth over his body until he lay naked.

Hephaistion glanced over at Alexander, it must be hard on him to see him so helpless, that the past must be in the forefront of his mind, of the times when he could walk and run.

He longed to hold him close now, seek comfort from him once more, to offer comfort too as he had heard the cheering for Eurydice's son, but the surgeon was not done with him. He poured warm, sweet smelling oil onto his skin and massaged him, the sensation lost as the physician worked on his legs.

Nikias put his hand upon his shoulder, and Hephaistion turned to see the tears in his eyes. Tears for a fallen comrade who would never fight again.

Perhaps this was the truth of it, despite Alexander's fervent belief. Hephaistion looked to Alexander to see him studying the surgeon's ministrations. No. Alexander was a man who made things happen. If Alexander said he would walk again then he spoke the truth.

Done with the massage, Philip poured more medicine in to a cup. Hephaistion protested, he knew the drink would make him sleep and he had done enough, he wanted nothing to take him away from Alexander again.

Alexander came closer to him, took the cup from Philip and lifting him up, held it to his lips. "Drink, Hephaistion. The sleep will be a healing one, and I must ride in to Thermia to buy good wine as a libation for Poseidon."

"Your father has left some wine," Nikias said.

"Wine bought with your own money, Alexander," Hephaistion acknowledged before drinking down the contents of the cup.

"I'll stay until you fall asleep," Alexander whispered.

Hephaistion nodded, his eyes already closing. "It will all be well, do not worry, do not let it concern you," he whispered, "just think you have a new brother, who will love you, Alexander". He looked to the surgeon thinking he had made his potion stronger, then back to Alexander before looking to his hand holding his chiton, laughing softly before falling in to the arms of Morpheus.

XXOOXX

Alexander raised his hand in greeting to the people of Thermia who had cheered when he had leapt on to the back of Bucephalus. He turned the stallion around to see the smiling faces of Nikias, Sostrate and Epaphras who were to accompany him.

"You're a living legend," Sostrate said, nodding in the direction of the crowd which had grown since morning. "You and that horse of yours."

As if aware of what was said, Bucephalus chose the moment to plunge forward and rear. Alexander stayed seated as if he were a part of the animal.

"Some have bought baskets of food but Euripedes is not complaining, they are buying his pots while they are here, he has Aesychlus going amongst them telling the story of why you are here to anyone who buys a bowl or a jug," added Epaphras.

"And Meno has taken the cart to fetch more clay. Thermia will have no-one there when we arrive," Nikias smiled.

Alexander smiled in return then wheeled the stallion around and pushed forward in to a fast canter, raising more cheers from the crowd.

Thermia was not that far, literally once you cleared some woodland the track rose steadily then at the peak the port lay spread out before you. Ships were sailing with the tide, their sails unfurled, the wind carrying the shouted commands, indistinct but audible.

He imagined Pelagia passing the same way just days ago and wondered what was in her mind. Was she happy that she was free to now be with her lover or did she regret the harm that she had caused, the cost of that freedom. He shook his head, doubting that she had any remorse, Hephaistion's murder was on her mind from the day that they got married. His hand tightened on the rein, the stallion responding with more speed, until checked. It was done. All he could do was thank the gods Hephaistion lived.

They rode in to the lively port, aware of the stir they made, all hearing the name 'Alexander' murmured, though people kept their distance they were curious just the same.

Nikias had found a good wine merchant the previous day. so they rode directly to him, Alexander dismounting along with Nikias as they spoke to the merchant to get the best that he had in store. The merchant, too busy bowing, almost stumbled over some of his stock, Nikias catching him before he fell to the floor.

Alexander looked around, then looked outside across the sea, his focus going to a horse merchant who rode by, leading a couple of older war horses, a fine pony that trotted smartly to keep up and bringing up the rear a red roan mare with a broad back but not so rounded on her belly as she might have been.

This mare held her head down, Alexander gauged instantly that she was aged, well past her prime. Another couple of years pulling a heavy cart would see her gone. As the horse merchant stopped at a tavern, the mare rested a back foot, only flinching to avoid a nip from one of the horses, not bothering to fight back.

Alexander told Nikias to buy two kraters of the best wine then, distracted, he made his way over to the tavern aware of Sostrate and Epaphras riding after him, not taking their guard duties lightly.

The mare studied Alexander as he studied her. There was a calm about her, a gentleness. He smiled. She might be the same age as Hephaistion, he wondered if they shared the same birth date too.

The horse dealer, strode forward calling Alexander' attention away from the mare and to the finest of the two horses, not realising who he spoke to but judging him to be a nobleman's son.

Nikias came over, leading the horses, he carried the wine but quickly got rid of his burden by handing it up to Sostrate and then to Epaphras.

The merchant was busy selling the horse but looked up and saw Bucephalus, falling silent as he did, looking to the horse he meant to sell, then the finest horse he had ever seen and the golden haired youth before him.

"Alexander?" he asked.

Alexander smiled and nodded. "How much for the roan?"

The horse merchant looked bemused by the question and spoke before he measured his words. "The mare? She only has one pace, too slow to even pull a cart at any speed," he stopped himself took a breath and carried on, "she's a willing animal, good-natured."

Alexander laughed. "I can see. How much?"

The merchant was too shocked at a prince bidding for an old cart horse that he did not think to raise the price and a deal was quickly done. Nikias had leapt on to his horse's back and leaned forward to take the rope the mare was fastened with but Alexander shook his head and jumped up on to Bucephalus' back leading the mare himself.

"For Hephaistion?" Sostrate asked.

"For Hephaistion," Alexander smiled.

"I doubt he's ever ridden anything so slow in his life," Nikias commented,already frustrated by the pace the mare was having them all stick to.

"If he can ride her then it will be better than a cart; if he can ride her then he will gain some independence," replied Alexander, pulling a face at Epaphras who almost dropped his krater as his horse shied at a woman shaking out a sheet from the room of a house. "That's the last thing he will need, a horse that might react like that." He turned to study the mare, urging her on but getting no change of pace.

"Hmmmm. You should call her Tortoise," suggested Nikias.

"Aphrodite...she is so beautiful," mocked Sostrate.

"Don't insult the goddess," Epaphras warned, turning to spit on the ground.

Alexander reached over and gave an affectionate tug on the mare's forelock. "Nike...for victory," he said.


	9. Chapter 9

Hephaistion did not see his gift until the following morning as it was dark when he finally awoke. He had been carried out to eat supper with his friends, then Philip insisted on another massage and raising him up again, though the result was no different than before.

Feeling frustrated at his immobility, rested by the drugs, he lay awake in Alexander's arms, with dark thoughts about his future, about the burden he would be. He tried to think how he could be a part of Alexander's life if he was to remain at Pella, if the things they had taken for granted, the life they had was gone. No more love making. He should have died and let Alexander find another, he felt it would be too difficult to watch another take his place.

He closed his eyes, angry with himself for losing hope, he told himself he had to fight and tried once nore to he rested again and when he next woke Alexander had gone and the smell of breakfast cooking filled the air.

He struggled to sit up, propping himself with his right arm, his back aching a little, trying to move his useless legs, his right foot moved, his knee bent a little, better than before but not enough to stand, let along step forward. He lay back, his arm aching, thinking he might recover a little but hoping for so much more.

Alexander stepped in to the tent, a plate of meat and bread in one hand, a cup of goats milk in the other. He was full of smiles and encouragement and seemed in a hurry for him to eat, looking back and smiling as Nikias and Sostrate appeared at the entrance.

"We're going to the beach to make libations to Poseidon," Alexander explained.

"And you are here to carry me?" Hephaistion said, as Alexander took his empty plate and Nikias stepped forward to help to lift him up. "I shall have to start eating less," he muttered.

They held him between them, scooping Hephaistion's legs up and carrying him outside, Sostrate stepping back with a grin to reveal Epaphras holding the red roan mare, well groomed, her coat now shining in the sun.

"Her name is Nike, and she will be your legs until you walk again," said Alexander, signalling for Epaphras to come over.

Hephaistion looked to the mare. Nothing like he would ever have chosen but he knew why Alexander had bought her for him, she had a kind eye and placid demeanour. He looked left and saw Philip walking forward to watch, wiping his hands on a towel, a bemused look upon his face.

He was lifted up by Nikias and Sostrate while Alexander pushed his right leg over the mare's back, then took the reins from Epaphras, throwing them over the mare's head before stepping back and looking happy with the scene.

With Nikias and Sostrate standing on either side to help if needed, Hephaistion took the reins with his right hand and tried to squeeze Nike's side to signal for her to go on, there was no movement from his legs but when he used his voice the mare went forward. He held her mane, thinking he might fall but she was slow and steady and he found that he could balance, seated well on her broad back.

Alexander grinned broadly at him, Sostrate clapped his hands and Epaphras came over to embrace Nikias before running for the wine which they had almost forgotten.

"Not too much," the surgeon said in a gentle warning, as they headed for the beach, "don't let him fall".

Aeschylus came running over, then Menos and Euripedes followed too until a small parade had started, especially when the people from Thermia hurried after them as well.

Hephaistion clutched Nike's mane as the ground became uneven and sloped towards the beach, he noticed Nikias and Sostrate step closer, perhaps expecting him to slip. His back did ache a little, even over the short distance it was complaining, he bit his lip and resolved to ignore the discomfort as it felt so good to be mobile once more, to be on horseback. From having no sensation in his legs they now felt numb, he could feel the weight of them each side of the mare but not the warmth of her body, not her movement.

He looked for the cliff he was thrown from and saw it on his right, feeling sick to see the height of it, to see the rocks jutting out of it, the sea seemed close to it, he had no memory of waves close to him but the memories of what happpened at the top came back to haunt him. The visions were powerful, he heard Pelagia's laughter, laughing at his fate as he felt the ground give way beneath his feet.

Hephaistion swallowed hard, forcing himself to think of happier times, he looked for Alexander, needing the reassurance he alone could give.

Determined to give thanks to the gods who had saved him, Alexander was leading the way along the beach towards the cliff, where comments were made once more at the miracle of survival in any form. After that they turned towards the sea, which glistened in the sun as though the god, in all his glory, rested just beneath the surface

After pouring a libation and thanking Poseidon, Alexander passed the wine to Hephaistion who then poured a libation of his own from Nike's back. The thought passed through his mind that the benevolent god might have saved him at the top of the cliff, given him a warning where he could have defended himself against his attackers. Alexander poured another libation thanking Poseidon for sending the storm that killed Pelagia and her lover then threw the krater out to sea. He took Nike's reins and the mare willingly walked deeper in to the sea where the rest of the wine was poured.

It was a hot morning, Aesychlus took the opportunity to swim and called out to his father to join him, though the potter refused and with the libations done made his way back to his home with Meno, past the people from Thermia who sat back and watched the prince and his friends.

"Perhaps, Poseidon favours you, Hephaistion," Alexander said.

Hephaistion looked to Aesychlus, who was swimming on his back then turning and submerging under the water. "I don't know why," he replied.

Alexander followed Hephaistion's gaze. "You always swam like a dolphin." He stood silent in thought a moment then turned back to his lover and smiled. "Come", he said, stepping forward to reach for him.

Hephaistion protested but could not stop Alexander from pulling him off Nike's back and down in to the water. Sostrate led the mare away while ever reliable Nikias came forward to help Alexander support him. Hephaistion clutched Alexander's wet chiton, obeyed his demands that he should relax and felt his body float up in the water, laughing with disbelief as he felt weightless in the water.

Alexander and Nikias looked to each other and laughed.

"You moved your right leg," Nikias exclaimed.

"Move the left," Alexander demanded.

Thinking it was just the sea causing the movement, Hephaistion concentrated on his allotted task, to be met with more cheers, Aesychlus standing by Alexander now, grinning from ear to ear.

"I can't feel it move," Hephaistion said, "I have to think so hard." His back began to ache then he felt pains along the length of each leg as the cramp began again. He cried out and arched his back, his head almost going in to the water but Alexander had him and was pulling him to the shore.

As they had seen the surgeon act, Nikias and Alexander each massaged a leg until the pain stopped, calling Aesychlus back before he could run for Philip. Hephaistion saw that Alexander knew he had pushed too far and he reached out with his hand to touch him, smiling at him. Alexander was Alexander, he would always expect more.

After a brief rest Nike was brought over and he was lifted up once more and taken back to their camp where Philip came over to inspect his patient and ordered that he be allowed to rest for the remainder of the day, going so far as to make Hephaistion drink the medicine which would make him sleep.

00XX00

The next few days brought only a slight improvement in Hephaistion's condition, no miracle occurred where he could even stand, let alone take a step forward.

Alexander spent sleepless nights wondering what more could be done but realised that he was battling time. He would hold Hephaistion close and watch him, remembering how he lost him, reminding himself not to try to rule while his father was still king, the cost was too high for him.

The days brought more people from Thermia, which helped Euripedes as he sold more pots but also brought problems as they threatened to overrun the camp to pay compliments to Alexander.

Even Philip began to say it was best they set off for Ptolemy's home, that Hephaistion could sit Nike for at least a morning and if they did not travel far at least they were leaving the crowds behind.

Hephaistion insisted on seeing Euripedes, Meno and Aeschylus before they left, which was understandable as he owed them such a debt. Apparently, Hephaistion had been working out how to pay back the favour.

"You struggle here?" he asked, propping himself up on the litter, glancing to see where the camp was being dismantled around him.

Euripedes shrugged. "We get by."

"But you are isolated. Meno goes to the market in Thermia once a week but there is hardly passing trade", he looked at Alexander and smiled, "unless you have a prince as your guest."

The potter nodded. "It would be best if we had a place in Thermia but we never have enough to afford one, so we make do."

"I have a gift for you all. A house in Pella and all that is inside of it...you will have to go to the barracks and..."

"Cleitus...go to the palace and find Cleitus," Alexander interrupted, " he knows the place and can have the lock on the gate broken."

"Cleitus then," agreed Hephaistion.

Aesychlus grinned and embraced Meno but Euripedes reached out to place his hand on Hephaistion's arm. "I can not accept," he said. "It is too much, we did nothing but what was right."

"It is a house which does not hold happy memories for me...take it and make it a happy place, Euripedes. It has a good courtyard where you can display your pots for sale, it is large enough so that you will each have your own rooms."

"And you can have a room there...if you need it," the potter replied, warming to the idea.

"I thank you for all that you have done. Go when you are ready, when I return to Pella I will come to see you."

"It is too much," Euripedes said, "but I accept with gratitude." He turned to look at his son and his friend, disbelief and happiness on his face.

Alexander and Nikias carried Hephaistion over to the roan mare and lifted him up on to her back.

"You might have sold it, Hephaistion, retrieved the money that was stolen from you."

Hephaistion shook his head. "Euripedes will do well with it and why do I need money when I have you?"

So, they bid farewell to Euripedes, Meno and Aesychlus and slowly set off, the people of Thermia walking along a little way until they judged that they were too far from their homes.

"Did you send a messenger to tell Ptolemy to expect us?" Hephaistion asked.

Alexander considered the question for a moment. "He will be happy to see us."

Hephaistion pursed his lips then smiled. "So, no messenger then."

Alexander grinned. "No messenger. but it is the best place to go where you can recover."

"What if this is it, Alexander? What if this is the best that I can be?"

"Then we live with it," Alexander replied, "you are here with me, Hephaistion, that is all that matters." He leaned over from Bucephalus and supported Hephaistion as they climbed a hill, to ensure he would not fall.

00XX00

A journey which should have taken just two days ended up taking six as Hephaistion would become tired by mid-morning and begin to lose his balance.

Philip would massage his legs while the others made camp, found wood and hunted for food.

Over the six days there was no further improvement and Hephaistion would sleep during the afternoon, waking to eat supper and join in the conversation, he would laugh and joke but when he thought he was unobserved his face showed concern and desperation, as the talk would turn to Persia and the culmination of all they had been training for.

00XX00

Ptolemy's family estate stood on open, level ground by the side of a river, at it's shallowest point. Sheep, goats and horses were scattered around, there was a small orchard close to the house and the buildings surrounding a large courtyard were aged, built at different times the first being constructed by Ptolemy's great-grandfather who tended goats and hardly thought of battle.

Now, Ptolemy's older brother ran the estate. Kineas doted on his younger brother and worked hard to give him a comfortable life in Pella as well as providing for their mother, his wife and their children.

Riding in to the courtyard they found Ptolemy with his arms wrapped round a serving girl, who did not appear to be rejecting his advances. He grinned broadly when he saw who had arrived and went to Alexander, his left arm still around the girl his right extended in greeting.

"Don't tell me you are exiled again," he laughed.

"No but we would prevail upon your hospitality for a time," replied Alexander.

"Of course," grinned Ptolemy looking to the girl and kissing her brow. "My friend, Alexander," he said to her, laughing as the girl pulled at her gown and attempted to tidy her hair. He looked around and greeted everyone then saw Hephaistion and smiled.

"How is married life, Hephaistion? Where is your horse? Can you no longer afford a decent animal?" Happy to be reunited with his friends, Ptolemy laughed at his own joke.

Alexander jumped down from Bucephalus' back and the others followed his lead, except for Hephaistion. Ptolemy noticed the surgeon for the first time and began to realise something was wrong.

"What happened to your arm?" he asked.

"I have been crippled, Ptolemy," Hephaistion replied, softly.

"What?" Ptolemy snapped, in disbelief. He let go of the girl and signalled for her to be gone.

"My bride had no intention of being a wife, so she had me thrown from a cliff on the way to Thermia."

Ptolemy stood dumbstruck, then seeing Alexander reach for Hephaistion he stepped quickly forward to help his friend to the ground, Nikias appearing by his side to guide him as to the best way to help. He saw Hephaistion's right leg move forward and thought he was witnessing a miracle.

"My legs move a little, I can feel touch now, if that touch is firm, but I cannot stand and cannot will my legs to walk," Hephaistion explained, seeing the hope in Ptolemy's eyes.

"Come, we will go in to the house, Kineas is away on business but my mother is here, my sister-in-law too. I'll get some servants to bring wine and we can talk." Ptolemy lifted Hephaistion up with Alexander and that way he was carried in to the house. "You always were my mother's favourite, prepare to be nursed," he warned, smiling as he spoke.

The interior of the house was basic but comfortable, they let Hephaistion rest upon a couch, then Alexander sat beside him, Ptolemy pulled up a wooden stool and sat close while the others took the offered wine and then went to see to the horses, Philip going with them saying he needed to stretch his legs.

"You should have come with us," Ptolemy said.

"I would have been fetched back," replied Hephaistion, "or had to have gone so far I was out of the King's reach." He looked to Alexander, the reason he had stayed. For a moment he was lost in his thoughts. "She was beautiful, Ptolemy....Pelagia, my wife, I did try to be a good husband to her."

"She was?" Ptolemy looked to Alexander.

"They took a ship to Rhodes," Alexander explained, "it was caught in a storm and all aboard it drowned." He took a sip of his wine.

"You are lucky to be alive," Ptolemy breathed. "A cliff?" He shook his head in disbelief, then looked at Alexander again. "And you? How are things with your father?"

"Better," replied Alexander, "he came to see what he could do, sent his own surgeon as you see. He wanted to teach me a lesson but even he could not see what the result would be. Now, we just need time to get Hephaistion on his feet, we have until my sister's wedding."

A woman's voice was heard, then another, Ptolemy and Alexander stood as Ptolemy's mother, Sappho, came in to the room, followed by her eldest son's wife, Dania. Sappho saw Alexander and Hephaistion and smiled broadly, holding out her hands in greeting as she came to them.

"My son never thinks to tell me when we have guests," she said.

"They have only just arrived," Ptolemy grumbled.

Two young boys came running in, holding wooden swords but halted when they saw the guests and went to Dania.

Alexander smiled. "Your nephews?"

Ptolemy looked to the boys. "They have grown since you last saw them," he signalled to them, "come here and meet the prince...my friend, Alexander".

The boys stepped forward and each gave a polite greeting, then stepped back to their mother looking on in awe.

Sappho looked to Hephaistion, frowning a little as she saw his left arm was strapped to his side and that of all of them he had not moved. She went over, taking Alexander's place to sit by his side, reaching up to brush away a strand of hair, like a mother would to a favoured son.

Ptolemy stepped forward and related what he knew, but Sappho did not take her eyes from Hephaistion as he spoke and only reacted by saying that he should be cared for at their house as long as he chose to stay.

Servants brought food and more wine, Nikias and the others all came back and took a plateful before finding themselves a seat, shortly after the surgeon returned and dined with them.

Sappho took a plate of food but cut it with a knife and insisted on hand feeding Hephaistion as though he was a child unable to fend for himself in the world any longer. While set on this task she called a servant to prepare a bed in a room on the ground floor close to her own. One of the boys stepped forward, embracing his grandmother who softly told him that Hephaistion would never walk again and that he needed all the love and care that they could give.

Alexander heard her words, though the others did not. He looked at the woman thinking she was a danger to Hephaistion's recovery, but the hostess at Ptolemy's home so he had to be sure not to offend her.

He could not argue when Hephaistion's eyes began to close and she asked Ptolemy to carry Hephaistion to his room, though once there Philip took over once more and shooed the woman from the room but did not object to Nikias and the rest being there.

"I want to remove the straps on your arm, Hephaistion. It might make you feel better to have that freedom once more, but get some rest for a couple of days before Alexander begins to train you for the next Olympics."

"Ah, but he could always run faster," Hephaistion replied, smiling at Alexander.

"Tell me about it," laughed Nikias.

Philip cut the straps and Hephaistion's arm fell free, Philip lifted it and examined it, bending it every way to see how flexible it was. He murmured in satisfaction. "Meno did a good job here, a perfect job, it will be as though it never was broken."

"It feels good to be free of the straps," Hephaistion noted, moving his arm carefully to rest across his stomach, as it was when the straps were in place.

"You are healing," Philip assured him. "It's a miracle that you survived and I see improvement in you every day."

"How far?" Hepahaistion asked. "How far will I recover?"

Philip looked to Alexander and back to Hephaistion. "Honestly? I do not know the answer. I have not had a patient before who has fallen from a cliff and survived. I have seen men wounded, crippled by battle, some who have fallen badly from their horses and who have never walked again. Now, a fall from a horse is not the same, less distance, but you hit the cliff as you fell, it might have broken your fall, not done the damage it should have done...but as to your question, I have no answer."

There was silence, then Philip spoke once more.

"You begin to see how life will be if you cannot walk, Hephaistion. It's hard to accept at first, I know...to see all you hoped for, all of your dreams fade."

"Don't talk that way," Alexander snapped, "it doesn't help."

Philip looked up at Alexander, his face stern. "You have to be prepared, Alexander. You can't keep promising him things will be alright. He is improving but you cannot assume he will be by your side in battle again. Don't build his hopes, otherwise you will watch him fall once more...a bigger fall than off that cliff."

Hephaistion went to say something, to calm the situation but before he could Alexander turned on his heels and hurried from the room. Hephaistion called for him but he did not look back.

"I cannot go after him," Hephaistion said, trying to lift himself from the bed.

"I'll go," Ptolemy assured him.

"No, let me," said Philip, "I am the one that caused this, though it needed to be said." He sighed. "If I had a way to make you well, Hephaistion...though only the gods and time will decide."

Hephaistion nodded. "Go to him," he urged, "his temper will cool quickly enough. Listen to him...listen to his point of view, to what he says, he has been hurt by this too."

Philip clasped Hephaistion's hand and then stood up and left the room. Ptolemy asked if he needed anything and Hephaistion said that he wanted to be alone, to rest.

As they left the room Nikias looked to Ptolemy. "He has to recover," he whispered.

"I worry for Alexander if he does not,"Ptolemy replied.


	10. Chapter 10

Alexander and Philip came back to the house together, their differences settled. Alexander went to see Hephaistion but returned to say that he was sleeping and he did not want to disturb his rest.

They spent the afternoon catching up on the news from Pella, all the court gossip, what was being talked of the last time they were there. Sappho and Dania sat quietly in a corner of the room, sewing chitons for the boys who were playing in the orchard under the careful gaze of a trusted servant. Ptolemy said that he had Seleucus and Perdiccas with him for a while, that they were well enough and staying with Perdiccas' family now, hoping there might be an end to their exile at some point.

"It was all my fault," Alexander said, sipping a diluted cup of wine. "If I had not had that idea, about the Carian princess...and Hephaistion, he did not approve of the plan but said nothing and paid the highest price."

"We should have seen the flaw in the plan. We were fools to think your father would not find out."

"I thought he would when it was too late, but where would I be now? I was wrong in my judgement, Ptolemy."

"You were saved from marriage," Nikias said. "It will make me think twice, what happened to Hephaistion. Perhaps I should look for some ugly girl who will be grateful to have me, too ugly to attract any other suitor but a good housekeeper, able to bear me children who have my looks, not hers."

"Your looks? I always thought that you were ugly," laughed Sostrate. "Ah but would you want to give her children? You'd have to have the lamp out when you..." he turned and pulled a face at Epaphras for nudging him so hard with his elbow, then followed his gaze to the women seated in the corner. He had forgotten about them and his face flushed, making everyone laugh.

"She was a pretty thing, that Pelagia," noted Epaphras.

"I thought Hephaistion a lucky man," Nikias added.

"You're sure they got on to the ship? I would hate to think we missed the chance for revenge." said Ptolemy.

Nikias nodded. "They were seen apparently, Pelagia remembered because of her looks, she was laughing, embracing the servant who was acting the part of her husband and throwing Hephaistion's money to the men loading their belongings, Hephaistion's belongings, on the ship. The nurse too was there, smiling on them. Yes, they were on board the ship and they were punished by Poseidon." He poured some wine on to the floor as a libation. "They must have thought Hephaistion dead and they laughed for it, they deserved death."

"Enough of the past now, it makes me angry to think what has been done," grumbled Ptolemy. "What are your plans, Alexander? To see how far Hephaistion can recover, I know, but can we aim to go hunting while you are here? I could send for Seleucus and Perdiccas if you wish."

"Hunting would be good," sighed Alexander, " though the wedding is coming close, by the time a message reaches Seleucus and Perdiccas they may not have too long to see us."

"I'll send it anyway," Ptolemy said, smiling as he saw Alexander accepting the idea.

A horse came cantering in to the courtyard and all the men in the room stood and went to see who had arrived.

One of the king's messengers, his horse breathing hard, was dismounting. His face flushed he stepped up to Alexander and bowed, his eyes seeking the surgeon.

"What is wrong, Callas?" Alexander asked, his voice concerned.

"The King requests that his surgeon return to Pella immediately, Arrhidaeus is sick...he gorged himself on apples they say...but Arrhidaeus' mother is distressed and I think it is more for peace than urgency that he sent me here."

"It will be nothing," Philip said, stretching himself. "I could have done without it, a gallop back to Pella." He looked to Alexander. "You can care for Hephaistion better than I can now, let him rest for a couple of days, see how he goes, he should improve given time to rest, the journey here has not helped."

"Callas you need a change of horse," Ptolemy said, then called for a servant to take Callas' horse from him, to go to the stables and bring him one back of equal quality."

Callas thanked Ptolemy, took and drank down a cup of wine then waited while the surgeon busied himself fetching what he required.

"Any news?" Ptolemy asked the messenger.

Callas laughed. "You are not recalled yet Ptolemy, though I heard the King say it was too quiet around the palace. He's excited about his new son and busy planning the wedding. They'll be leaving in a day or two for Aegae, all the servants are running round preparing for the journey. Oh, they are making a statue of him to enter the theatre with the gods " He laughed again seeing the look on Ptolemy's face. "I know." His face grew serious. "How is Hephaistion? Everyone has heard, they will want to know at the barracks"

"They arrived today, he is resting now."

Callas frowned. "They say he is crippled."

Ptolemy shrugged. "We'll see."

Philip shouted over he was ready, Callas went to the fresh horse and leapt on to its back, saying his farewells.

Alexander went to the surgeon and clasped his hand before they rode out of the courtyard and headed back to Pella at speed.

00XX00

As the afternoon turned to evening, Sappho and Dania arranged a supper of bread, meat, olives, cheese and fruit, sitting with them to dine.

Sappho stood and poured a cup of wine and put a selection of food on to a plate intending on taking it to Hephaistion but Alexander stopped her by saying he would like to go to him.

Hephaistion was still sleeping but woke as the door opened and Alexander came in, followed by a servant, sent by Sappho, who hurried to light the lamps in the room. Alexander gave orders that they should not be disturbed, knowing Sappho might find an excuse to come and nurse her patient, then watched as the servant bowed and left the room, closing the door behind him.

"I brought your supper," Alexander said, sitting down upon the bed and placing the cup of wine on the same table as the lamp.

Hephaistion wiped his eyes, then struggled upright, propping himself with a pillow, then reached for the wine with his left hand, as if just to try and see how his arm had healed.

"Philip has gone, but we sorted out our differences. He was called back to Pella because my brother ate too many apples," he reported, watching as Hephaistion took a chicken leg.

"Where is everyone?" he asked.

"In the main room, talking," Alexander replied. "Would you like to go there?"

Hephaistion shook his head. "It is easier if I stay here. Or else I have to be carried, then see the pity in people's faces before I ask to be carried back again. Everyone means well but I am treated like I might break. I survived the fall but things have changed." He put the uneaten chicken leg back upon the plate and reached to put down his wine cup on the table again. He sighed. "Forgive me, Alexander, I have woken full of self-pity."

"Are you still mine, Hephaistion?" Alexander asked, softly.

Hephaistion hesitated before he spoke. "As much as ever," he eventually replied.

Alexander sighed, looked to the plate of food and put it on the table as well, then looked to Hephaistion. "There has been nothing physical between us, no truly loving moments, not since the morning of your wedding. You are my closest friend, I know you still are, but do you still desire me?"

Laughing softly, Hephaistion lifted his right hand to trace the outline of Alexander's face before letting his fingers comb through the tousled golden hair. "I always knew there would be no other for me." He hesitated again. "You know I have not been well enough but now I do not know if I am capable of making love." He laughed softly. "If you are thinking back to the night of the banquet...oh, how I wanted you then, it pained me to reject you and if I had known what the future held...crippled as I am I do not see how I would be so desirable, I would be a poor bedmate for you, Alexander...perhaps you should find another."

Alexander took Hephaistion's wrist, holding it as he turned his head to kiss the palm of his hand, then releasing it he stood up and kicked off his boots. He unfastened his belt and unclipped his chiton letting it fall so that he stood naked, turning so that Hephaistion could see the stirrings of his desire.

"I want no other, Hephaistion, right from the first, I never thought I could feel such desire." He reached down and unfastened Hephaistion's belt, pulling it free and discarding it on the floor, then unclipped his chiton, sitting beside him and leaning down to kiss the exposed chest as he did so. With help from Hephaistion he removed the chiton, which ended up on the floor by the belt.

"Kisses might be all we can have," warned Hephaistion.

"They will be enough," Alexander replied, and smiled. "You are the only one I shall ever truly love, so let me taste your sweet kisses and if that is all I can hope for I will satisfy myself with that," he breathed, as he lifted himself over Hephaistion and kissed his lips, brief kisses, declaring his love between each one.

Hephaistion laughed and held him close, the fingers of his hand entwined in his golden hair as he initiated another kiss that was full of passion, like the wedding morning, like at the banquet but this time they were not disturbed, there was nobody to part them now.

Alexander caressed Hephaistion's body as they kissed, hearing him moan softly, feeling his body move beneath him. He caressed Hephaistion's body, exploring what he thought was lost to him, his hand slid along his waist, down to his inner thigh, then brushed along his groin where he was surprised to find the evidence of his lover's arousal. He broke the kiss and grinned down at him.

"Who would have thought?" laughed Hephaistion, "I would have said it could not happen and yet I need you so badly right now, Alexander. Oh, it has been too long."

Alexander took the swollen shaft in his hand, laughing as Hephaistion gasped, arching his back in pleasure, his left leg moved a little, almost in invitation.

"And you are still mine?" Alexander asked, although he knew the answer.

"For eternity," Hephaistion breathed, moaning with need as Alexander moved over him.

They kissed passionately, both lost in pleasure as Alexander held their two shafts together, moving his hand, fast then slow, as Hephaistion gave himself to his feelings, unable to contain himself, he brought Alexander over the edge with him and they held each other, whispering endearments, promising never to be parted.

They lay in silence for a moment, then Alexander moved to lie alongside Hephaistion, his arm wrapped around him, their heads turned to gently kiss each other.

"I thought that was dead to me," Hephaistion confessed. "Before the fall, I had to try to be strong when I missed you so badly, longed to be in your arms....then after..." He let his voice trail away and waited until Alexander looked upon him before he spoke again. "I need to go to Persia with you, I have to recover, I begin to imagine being locked in a room like this forever, in my prison, self-pity made me weak. I thought I should have to find a way to let you go but how can I when I love you so much? With every fibre of my being, Alexander."

Hephaistion kissed Alexander's lips softly, resting his head back on the pillow his arms wrapped around him. No more words were said, no more were needed.

00XX00

Hephaistion began to be restless, he felt more energised and longed to be able to move whenever he chose, not depend on being lifted up or held.

Ptolemy had brought some plays for him to read, Sappho would appear often and ask if he needed anything, Nikias, Sostrate and Epaphras came to talk to him and Alexander offered hope and love but still he grew impatient, he was sure that his strength had returned but the recovery was slow.

After two days, where he was made to rest, except for in the evenings when Alexander would climb in to his bed, the exercises began again, anything to make him walk.

He had been held upright, encouraged to step forward and had achieved that goal, though the steps were small and he could not stand alone. He had ridden Nike to the river and managed to slide from her back in to the water, holding her mane as he felt the water lift him but he could not let go, not until Alexander was at his side.

He was tired of the encouragement, tired of the praise for the smallest movement. He was fighting to have a life, the life he wanted and he felt for all he had achieved, for all the effort the results should be greater.

One afternoon, Hephaistion was in the courtyard of the house, holding on to a stone column, his right arm wrapped around it. He had been placed there by Ptolemy and Alexander, who sat back on a stone bench now, offering encouragement for him to let the column go and walk a couple of paces to them. Only, he did not want to let the column go as he was convinced it would only lead to him falling forward.

Sappho came in to the courtyard, attracted by the noise, then hurried to Hephaistion, offering support and calling to Ptolemy to stop being a fool and help his friend.

"You push him too hard," she scolded, not caring that it was a prince she spoke to. "If the surgeon was here I doubt he would approve."

"I want to try," Hephaistion assured her.

"My poor love," Sappho cooed, her eyes filling with tears, "some things aren't meant to be."

"Persia was always meant to be," replied Hephaistion.

"Let him try," Alexander said.

Sappho stepped back but her face showed disapproval. "All it will cause is pain," she huffed.

Hephaistion pulled himself up, getting his feet under him before he slowly released the column. His legs held him and he grinned over at Alexander for the victory they had achieved together.

"Now walk," Alexander urged him.

"Always more," sighed Hephaistion, bringing his right leg, the strongest leg, forward a small pace. He reached back to put his hand on the column to support himself, quickly telling Sappho he was alright as she stepped forward, her hands held out. He dragged his left foot forward, till it was level with the right, then gained his balance again before letting go of the column.

"You're cheating a little," Ptolemy complained, smiling broadly.

Alexander stood up. This was the first time, since the banquet, that they had been able to stand together, face to face.

"You have a moment more," Hephaistion warned, his legs were getting tired.

Alexander grinned and leaned forward to claim a kiss, wrapping his arms around Hephaistion's waist, then turning so he stood in support. "Ptolemy," he called.

Ptolemy got to his feet and went to his station at Hephaistion's side, waiting for the nod which meant they would walk a slow circuit around the courtyard.

"Too much," murmured Sappho, and made her way inside.

00X00

Later in the evening, Hephaistion lay, on his stomach, reading on his bed, waiting for Alexander to return from his bath and bring supper, which had become his habit, when Sappho appeared at the door, the plate of food in her hand.

Hephaistion turned and greeted her, thankful that he was not yet undressed. He lifted himself up and propped a pillow behind his back, while she sat on the bed beside him, looking down as if to check which piece of food she should feed him first.

"I can feed myself," Hephaistion said, taking the plate from her and putting it on the table.

Sappho looked at him and smiled softly, then brushed back a wayward strand of hair from his face. "I think that they are pushing you too hard, Hephaistion. You need to rest...perhaps you need to accept that things will never be the same."

"I stood today," replied Hephaistion, "I would not have thought that possible, but it happened."

Sappho sighed. "My grandson has a favourite toy, a wooden soldier, one of the servants carved it from a piece of wood when he was born. One day this soldier was broken and my grandson cried for it, so we did our best to fix it. It stands again but it will never be the same." She took his hand. "I wanted you to know that you have a home here, Hephaistion, with people who will love and care for you. When my son, Kineas, returns, he will say as much, you do not have to let Ptolemy and Alexander work you so hard, sometimes you have to let dreams go and look to what is real."

"Or you make your dreams happen," Hephaistion replied.

Sappho shook her head. "My poor boy, I wish you could accept that things have changed."

"When I was first injured, if you had come to me then I would have accepted everything you said, Sappho. I might have dragged myself up to the top of that cliff and thrown myself from it to make sure the job was done properly. I knew something was wrong, I thought then I would be a burden on anyone but Alexander found me and had such a strong belief that I would recover that even though I doubted it I could do nothing but try. I am getting stronger, Sappho, if you had seen me in the first few days, to how I am now."

Alexander's voice was heard, he was talking with Ptolemy. Sappho stood, brushing her gown straight, she smiled sadly at Hephaistion then went to leave the room, meeting Alexander in the doorway.

"I brought supper," she informed him.

"Thank you," Alexander replied, looking to Hephaistion before shutting the door after their hostess.

Hephaistion sighed. "She is doubtful I will recover, she has offered me a home."

Alexander laughed softly. "I thought that she would try to talk with you. Do we have wine?"

"A servant brought some earlier."

He held up his hand and grinned. "I have some oil to massage you with, so get undressed Hephaistion and let me be the judge of how far you have recovered."

Laughing, Hephaistion reached up and unclipped his chiton, unfastening his belt . "Perhaps I still need help," he said, and smiled.

Alexander walked over to the bed, removing his own chiton then reaching to help Hephaistion who pulled him down in to an embrace, kissing him ardently.

Breaking the kiss to reach for the oil Alexander looked on Hephaistion and smiled. "You need no other home," he whispered, "but here with me."


	11. Chapter 11

Alexander grew restless, confined to the estate, Hephaistion could see it and so encouraged him to go hunting, arguing that Bucephalus could do with the exercise, encouraging Ptolemy to talk of the game to be found, smiling to see the longing in Alexander's eyes. It took a few days of persuasion but eventually it was agreed on, that they would ride to the east of the estate and stay overnight at an old hunting lodge before returning by early afternoon of the next day.

Nikias and the rest went with them and, helped now by a servant, Hephaistion was able to be there to see them off, hiding his frustration at not being able to go with them, smiling as Alexander laughed, happy to be on his way.

He rode over to Hephaistion, looking to the servant for a moment as though he was not sure that leaving was such a good thing. "I'll be back tomorrow," he said, though there was no need to state the fact.

"I know," laughed Hephaistion. "But to come back you have to leave, so go, Alexander, have pleasure in your hunting and don't worry about me."

Alexander looked to the servant again. Hephaistion turned to the man holding him and asked that he be released a moment, then he took a step forward, raising his head so he could meet Alexander's lips as his lover leaned forward to say farewell. Alexander laughed softly, almost hesitating in sitting upright because they hardly gave public demonstrations of their affection for each other and he knew all eyes would be on them. He grinned at Hephaistion then wheeled Bucephalus around leading the way out of the courtyard.

The servant stepped forward, smiling at him, then helped him back inside the house, helping him to sit upon a couch then fetching Ptolemy's copy of 'The Illiad' so he could read it.

He had not been reading for long when Sappho appeared and came to sit beside him. She picked up some sewing she had discarded, feigning an interest in each stitch but glancing over to Hephaistion, humming a soft tune in the hope he might engage in conversation with her.

Hephaistion put the play aside. "You are concerned for me, there is no need," he said.

A poor actress, Sappho tried to act surprised. "I was just sewing and thought you might enjoy having someone close to talk to now that all your friends have left you alone."

"They'll be back tomorrow," he assured her.

Sappho shrugged her shoulders. "At least here the waiting is a pleasant thing but perhaps you should rest. You can just as well read that story from your bed as from the couch."

"I could but..."

Sappho put down her sewing and called for a servant, the man who had helped to hold him outside appeared as if on cue. "Help Hephaistion to his room for he is tired," she said, getting to her feet and stepping aside.

"I am happy here," Hephaistion argued.

"It can't be good for you, sitting up like that, you need to rest." She nudged the servant who was hesitating. "Pick him up. Do you expect him to stand up the poor man is a cripple."

"I'm not a cripple."

Trying to argue the point, trying not to fight the servant or upset his hostess, Hephaistion found himself in the man's arms, carried back towards his room while Sappho picked up 'The Illiad' and hurried after them clucking like a hen. As he was laid down on the bed, Sappho fetched a blanket and put it over him, then put the play on the table within reach.

"Please, Sappho," he said, "I am not a child to be told what I should do."

Sappho held her hands up, seemingly offended by his words, she shook her head then took Hephaistion's hand. "I have always had a soft spot in my heart for you," she confessed, "I always thought you a well-mannered boy, but Alexander, that boy would want to rule the world, his head is full of dreams and he lures you in, I see it, he makes you believe impossible things."

Hephaistion went to speak but could not say a word before Sappho spoke again.

"I see that you can stand, I see you take a couple of steps but where does that get you, Hephaistion? You think that you can be the same as before? I think not, and I am an old wise woman. So listen to me, don't allow them, allow Alexander, to push you like he does, there can be no happy outcome from it. And I am glad he has gone hunting so we can have this time to talk with each other, things needed to be said."

She stood up and nodded to the servant who left the room. "I'll let you rest now, you look tired and worn, not at all the healthy youth that I first met...poor boy." She left the room, closing the door behind her.

OOXXOO

Hephaistion felt as though he had been in the middle of a storm, he wondered if Sappho had drawn breath once, if Ptolemy's father had suffered it for years. Pelagia had been quiet, he almost felt blessed that she had been his wife, then reminded himself that because of her he was trapped in this room.

Lying back, he listened to life going on in the distance, another taste of what life would be if his recovery went no further. If it had gone no further, he reminded himself, he was so much better than he was but perhaps he would have been better at Euripedes' for there would have been no Sappho waiting to take his new found confidence away.

He considered reading, then looked left and studied the sturdy post at the corner of the bed, then to the right to the post there. He bit his lip as he thought out the logistics needed, for he planned to try to stand alone, he pushed away his own fears thinking he could not make things worse.

Reaching up his right hand he pulled himself up, using the post, so that his back was against the wall. Throwing the pillow aside he then turned himself letting his legs fall from the side of the bed, then pulled himself closer to the post. Bringing up his left hand he clutched the post and hauled himself up, laughing as he came upright, savouring the joy of independence, though anyone seeing him would think he was in trouble.

Feeling his legs, numb beneath him, he waited a moment, just concentrating on getting them in the right position, then slowly he eased his grip, letting his legs take his weight, just like when Alexander was close to catch him. Still slightly numb, he felt as though his legs were his once more, a part of him. They did not betray him and he released the post.

It took a moment for him to balance himself, he felt like a young child, walking for the first time and like a child he looked around for where he should go. It was then a plan came to mind and he smiled to think it might be possible, he wanted to escape the room and Sappho ruled the house.

To stay by the wall seemed the wisest choice, to head for the door the most impractical. To walk along the wall would take him too far, whereas if he had not been injured he could have taken five paces to the door. It would be more than he had ever done during his recovery. He took a breath and managed to turn himself a little, at least he would fall on to the bed if his plan failed in the first two steps.

His right leg went out a little way, his left almost dragging itself beside it, always slow at first, but it was a step but he had taken two steps before, when he made it to three Hephaistion could have laughed for joy though then on the fourth he felt that he had won a race.

With the right again he stepped out, almost losing his balance but correcting himself before his efforts came to nothing. He imagined the look on Alexander's face, if his plan came to fruition, if he could go to where they hunted, riding Nike, then dismount and walk to him.

This sudden idea filled him, drove him on, he focussed on the door and though it took time he made it and leant against it savouring his victory, though he held on tightly, feeling exhausted by his effort.

He shuffled over to the wall, leaning on it as he opened the door and stepped out in to the hallway, almost giving up as it seemed to stretch for stadia before him, but Alexander's face drew him on, the thought of the surprise, the thought of a recovery good enough to get him to Persia.

Reaching the main room of the house his legs failed him, buckling under him, he slid down the wall to sit upon the floor, which is where Dania found him and she quickly called for Sappho who in turn called for the servant to carry him back to his bed.

Hephaistion held up his hand. "Just have the servant lift me up," he said, "and ask another to fetch my horse. I plan to go hunting."

"Madness!" Sappho cried and told the servant to carry him back to his room.

"Don't," Hephaistion breathed as the servant went to lift him up, "just help me to my feet."

"He is walking, Mother," Dania said, smiling to Hephaistion so he would know he had an ally. "He got here by himself. Do as he wishes, let him go."

"Watch him fall then, Dania as he tries to ride to the hunt. It is a foolish idea."

"Not so foolish as giving in," Hephaistion said to her, "of allowing yourself to be confined."

Sappho flushed, then nodded to the servant who then did nothing more lift him up and hold him until he regained his balance. Hephaistion's legs ached now but he tried not to show the discomfort he was in.

"A cruel girl to put you through so much," Sappho said, referring to Pelagia, as Hephaistion headed for the courtyard, each step like a battle won.

The wall ran out before he got there and now he had an audience. He thought it best not to hesitate and stepped out, hardly an elegant stride but good enough and he felt the sun on his face and fresh air filled his lungs.

Another servant hurried over with a dark bay horse, not Nike, one much livelier. Hephaistion realised the man had bridled the horse in a hurry, he wondered where Nike was and would have sent the man back to fetch her but pains were shooting through his legs and his back was aching.

The man stepped forward to help him, giving him a leg up on to the horse then running for a javelin having remembered where Hephaistion was intending to go, and passing it to him. Hephaistion could have laughed that the man thought he was capable of hunting anything when his main concern was staying on the horse beneath him.

He had grown comfortable with Nike, trusting the mare, this horse was younger, suited to the cavalry, perhaps Ptolemy's spare, it was willing to go forward. He thought he might fall and clutched the horse's mane willing himself to relax then realising he did not know where to head.

He looked back. "Which way?"

The servant ran forward, pointing east, then waved farewell.

Concentrating on settling the horse, trying to get an even pace, Hephaistion soon left the house behind, and he realised that for the first time in a long time he was truly alone, nobody was there to run to him if he got in to trouble, he just needed to remain seated on the back of the fine horse he rode. He had walked unsupported, small, shaky steps but better than he had ever hoped for. He flexed his left arm, it protested a little but he could raise it high, as before, then he looked down to his legs, looking as they always had, gripping the sides of the horse, maybe not with the same strength but he could feel the warmth of the horse, feel its movement now.

He looked up, not able to stop the laughter, the sheer joy of life coming back to him, allowing him to hope that he would still be by Alexander's side wherever he chose to go.

Heading east at a walk he began to think he had been a little foolhardy, he needed to ride faster to find the lodge by nightfall but he knew that Alexander and the rest would have covered some distance, if only to stretch their horses legs. The idea of returning to the house defeated did not appeal at all so he decided to try to take the straightest route east and hope to make up time that way.

Relishing his freedom he guided the horse across a small brook and climbed a hill, looking back to see the house in the distance, to see a rider approaching at a gallop, the sun behind him. Hephaistion sighed, thinking that Sappho had sent the servant after him but this man rode too well, leaping the brook effortlessly, at one with his horse. He could see the rider now and laughed again as he recognised Seleucus and called out in greeting.

"What are you doing here alone? Where is Alexander?" Seleucus asked as he reined his horse in close and reached over to Hephaistion, embracing him, almost unseating him.

"Alexander is hunting with Ptolemy, I was on my way to them." Hephaistion saw Seleucus look at his horse, a puzzled look appearing on his face. "My horse went lame," it was no lie but his horse was back at Pella, resting.

"That's a quality one, I should ask Ptolemy if he wants to sell it," Seleucus said, "I was on my way to Ptolemy's when I saw you. They'll have a spare javelin there won't they?" he continued, turning his horse to go in Hephaistion's direction, obviously deciding to go hunting, though he had no javelin, just a sword and dagger at his side and a bag full of his clothing across his horse's withers.

"Where is Perdiccas?"

"Still with his family...I outstayed my welcome, though it was not my fault, Perdiccas' young cousin found her own way in to my bed, I did nothing to encourage her."

Hephaistion laughed.

"Perdiccas wasn't best pleased either, he got in trouble for the fact I am his friend and stayed to pour oil on troubled waters while I quickly took my leave and thought Ptolemy might be glad of company." He grinned. "And how are you? How is married life?"

"I am well enough and married life is not what it appears to be."

Seleucus nodded, pulling a face. "Can't say I would ever want to get married. How far are they away? We'll get there by dark at this rate. Come on, I'll race you."

Hephaistion felt his heart come up in to his throat at Seleucus' suggestion, he thought it might be tempting the fates to push his luck any further. Any choice was taken from him as Seleucus assumed that he would choose the quicker pace and he clutched on to his horse's mane as he went straight in to a canter and then a gallop. He felt his legs grip the sides of the horse, enough to give him the balance he needed, the fates were being kind this day, perhaps Poseidon, a god he had never particularly favoured, was watching over him after all, perhaps Pelagia's shade had called out in remorse and some other god had heard her.

Eventually, Seleucus brought his horse back to a gentle canter, leading the way towards some woodland, judging that was the best place to look, he reined in as they approached the edge of it, smiling over to Hephaistion as they listened for the hunting party.

Smiling back, Hephaistion relished Seleucus' ignorance of his condition, knowing if he said anything now he would be like the rest, even like Alexander, watching him, ready to assist. This was good, he felt he was an equal once more, that he had his freedom back and the thought of dark days in a darkened room at Pella vanished and the promise of Persia seemed within his grasp.

"There. Did you hear?"

Having been lost in thought Hephaistion had not heard anything. He listened now and heard a shout, some way off and indistinct. "They have not gone far," he remarked.

Seleucus shook his head. "Ptolemy's land is full of game, he brought us here before, we spent the morning here before moving on." He looked up at the sun, judging the time. "The morning is almost done." He grinned at Hephaistion. "We'll go find them, I can drop off my belongings and get a javelin." He urged his horse on and led the way through the trees, being cautious to listen out so as not to place themselves in any danger by being mistaken for prey.

"So, Philip doesn't mind your being with Alexander now you're married?"

"He had a change of heart."

"Really?" Seleucus looked back but at the moment he did so a wounded boar came crashing out of the undergrowth, charging between the two horses who both spooked.

Seleucus' horse bucked and leapt sideways and as he was off balance, turned towards Hephaistion, he fell heavily to the ground. Hephaistion's horse also leapt to the side, its feet kicking out in defence Hephaistion stayed with it but then it reared and span around and it was too much, he lost his seat and slid from the horse on to the ground, falling on to his back. He lay still, assessing what damage had been done, opening his eyes and seeing the cliff stretch high above him for a moment before he saw the branches of the trees and heard the grunting of the boar. He propped himself up and looked to the clearing, the boar had not gone, the hunter's were approaching.

Winded by the fall, Seleucus lay in the boar's path, oblivious to the danger he was in, as he got himself up on to all fours then began to stand, the boar became agitated and looked to charge.

Hephaistion looked for the javelin, he had dropped it as he fell, it was close to him and he dragged himself across to it, his eyes not leaving the boar, not daring to shout a warning. He had to move quickly, his right hand closed around the javelin, his left steadied him as he brought his feet up under him, Seleucus had turned, had seen the boar and stood routed to the spot.

His legs protested, his back felt as though a dagger was striking him constantly but he had to move and move quickly the boar was about to charge and Seleucus might be killed if he did not act. He raised the javelin, took a breath and held it, then stepped forward and with all his strength hurled the javelin forward, falling forward as he released it, watching it arc high, fearing it might strike Seleucus but it turned towards the ground meeting the boar as it was about to strike, hitting it in the chest and bringing it down where it slid to Seleucus' feet.

Seleucus drew his sword and struck it deep in to the boar's neck though it was probably already dead. He looked to Hephaistion then fell back on to his backside, looking to his hands which shook.

Ptolemy and Nikias emerged from the woods, then Alexander, followed by a Epaphras and Sostrate. They reined their horses in, surveying the scene before them then quickly dismounted, Ptolemy going to help Seleucus up and Alexander hurrying to Hephaistion.

"How did you get here?" he asked, looking with amazement at the fact that his closest friend was actually standing before him, even with support. He put his arm around Hephaistion's waist and encouraged him to sit then crouched down staring intently at him, unable to hide the smile caused by this new arrival to the hunt. He looked over his shoulder to where Seleucus was talking with Ptolemy, kicking at the body of the boar as if the creature might rise from the dead.

"I met Seleucus on the way here," Hephaistion said, "I managed to get up from my bed and leave the room, then to get a horse."

"Where is Nike, I bought her for you because she was safe for you."

"I didn't fall...first," Hephaistion protested, "Seleucus fell."

Alexander laughed for joy and pulled Hephaistion in to an embrace. "It has to get better now. You see? You can fight the fates."

Hephaistion put his right hand over Alexander's mouth and signalled for him to be quiet, that he should not tempt the gods, then he took his hand away and leaned forward to claim a kiss. "How many boars have you killed today?" he teased.

Seleucus came over and looked down on Hephaistion shaking his head. "Ptolemy just told me...what has happened....the girl you married...the  
cliff."

"I am better now," Hephaistion smiled holding his hand out to Seleucus. "Help me up."

Alexander and Seleucus pulled Hephaistion to his feet but that was as much as he would let them do, even with the ground being so uneven. Slowly he made his way over to his horse, reclaiming the javelin from Nikias on his way, as if he might go hunting once more, though he used the weapon to steady himself.

At first, Alexander followed, then realised that he was no longer required, not to carry or support as he had been doing. Only when Hephaistion got to his horse did he step forward to offer a hand to help him up, looking up in to his lover's lapis eyes, feeling the love and the relief flowing through him.

"The wedding first...then Persia," he said, smiling to see Hephaistion nod in agreement.

OOXXOO

The hunting was abandoned for a celebration at the lodge, of friends reunited and Hephaistion's recovery. They sat on benches around the fire while the boar was roasted and skins of wine passed around. Seleucus made everybody laugh with his stories of life with Perdiccas and his family. Nikias sang an old hunting song, which everyone joined in with, the Alexander recited from 'The Illiad' which made every man go quiet to listen in rapture.

"I hope your father calls me back to go with him," Ptolemy said, when he was done.

"Speak to him for us, Hephaistion," pleaded Seleucus, a smile upon his face, "you seem to have his favour..and the god's favour too."

"He'll not leave good men behind," Hephaistion replied.

"How soon will you have to leave...for the wedding?" asked Seleucus.

Alexander sighed and stretched his legs. "In the next couple of days. He turned and looked to Hephaistion. "I think everyone wil be surprised to see you walk in by my side."

"If you go slowly," Hephaistion said, "I'm much improved and I have your mother to thank for the speed of my recovery, Ptolemy."

Ptolemy looked surprised then laughed. "She's too eager to play the nurse. I can imagine, my father suffered it for years."

Alexander stood and walked over to the open doorway of the lodge, leaning against it to look out at the stars appearing in the night sky. He turned and smiled to see Hephaistion walking over to him, then stepped outside knowing he would follow, he could now.

"You look to the east, Alexander. Do you think of glory in Persia?"

"For what my father will allow," Alexander replied, turning to look upon his lover.

Hephaistion bit his lip, considering his reply. "There will be a time when you can look for glory."

Alexander shook his head. "I need you by my side, Hephaistion. It was always your dream too."

Hephaistion smiled. "Ah, but we can dream again, Alexander." He sighed softly. "Though I need to rest a little."

Alexander followed, laughing softly as Hephaistion did not go back to the lodge but headed out of sight, turning to see he followed. What was broken had been mended, stronger than before and no matter what the future held they could face it together. He ran a little way to catch up, his arm reaching around his lover before they lay upon the ground.

EPILOGUE

The girl made her way through the busy port, her cloak wrapped around her. She stood and looked out to sea looking to where her home of Athens might be, hearing alien voices and shivering a little at the thought of her plight, to be alone in Persia, living on the generosity of the merchant who had plucked her from the sea.

He spoke a little Greek, his wife and children spoke nothing, and he was not rich, he just managed to get by.

She noticed a man looking at her, a handsome Persian, riding a fine horse, his clothes those of a rich man. He might provide a better home than the hovel she was living in. She lifted up her head and brushed back her dark, curled hair and turning towards him she smiled sweetly, waiting while he rode towards her. He would do.

She lowered her eyes, then gazed upon him. "My name's Pelagia," she said.

THE END


End file.
